My wife and I live full time with my 95 yr. old dad. He is in great shape but always fears getting sick. My brother and his family like to visit twice a year. When I say family I mean 6-8 people come at a time, and this includes two small children. My father honestly hates all the noise and worries that someone will bring an illness off the plane, which is also a concern of ours.
However, my father feels bad telling them not to come, and we haven't said anything because its not our home. Trying to find the best way to navigate this mine field to make everyone happy and keep dad healthy. I know if I say something to my brother it will create issues. Anyone else out there experiencing a situation like this as well?
Given that the OP posted in the summer I assume the visit has already occurred - I wonder if any of the fears about germs were justified?
I can't imagine how I would receive "don't bother bringing your germ ridden children to visit me." Probably not well.
Since, your dad at 95 has told you his concerns and what he doesn't like, I'd have no issue being his advocate and as pleasantly as I could. I might first visit with dad's doctor and bring up the flu, colds, loud noises, etc. and how it's wise to take precautions. The doctor would certainly agree on limiting access to illness and anything that stresses dad. So, with the doctor's sanctioned advice, I'd notify family members that after discussion with dad's doctor the following will happen. And then say whatever you feel is appropriate.
It's quite common for children and loud noises to bother seniors. So, limiting their visite to one-half hour, shouldn't be a problem, PLUS, they all wash hands and wear masks. Adults too.
I might also explore having them stay elsewhere and rent a room for family gathering. That way, dad can leave when he's inclined.
Also, can they change visit to avoid cold/flu season? Even if you get the flu shot, it can really take a toll on a senior. I had it last year, even with the shot and I don't think a senior would have survived it. And, I'm pretty sure that I got it from my young niece. I didn't know she had the flu when I was cuddling and playing with her.
Are there similar accommodations your family members could make during this visit? Would it be possible for the younger family (grands and great-grands?) to stay at a nearby hotel and visit 2-3 hours a day? Maybe visit in the morning and join for dinner each evening?