Recap of my story: My 83-year old mom is in early stages of dementia and in India. I arranged mostly 24/7 care for her (the aides go to their own homes for lunch and care for small kids).
For now, things are somewhat ok.
I had discussed with you all about the possibility of bringing mom here and many had advised against it. Mom will be on a visa and will not qualify for any state insurance.
But I worry what will happen as mom's dementia worsens and she gets older? What if she lives to be 95? I keep calling the aides daily to make sure they are doing their jobs but there is only so much I can control from here.
So if I decide to bring her into my house, are there low cost insurance options at all? From my minimum initial research, it seems there's no coverage for NEW 80 year olds. I think I could get some travel insurance on a 6-month basis but not sure how extensive this will be.
Thank you so much
If you live close to the southern border, look into a nursing home in Mexico. They are much cheaper than in the US. $1500/month will get you into a good NH down there. Some people that live in the US, have their parent in a NH in Mexico. If you live along the border, you can visit them everyday. Many people commute across the border both ways everyday for work.
You only have the one brother?
Yes...only one brother..
Insurance will be cost prohibitive, my husband and I pay 1800.00 monthly with a 15k family deductible. Neither of us are old enough for Medicare and relatively healthy, we are paying for others that can not pay, as will your mom because she can't qualify for resident/citizen assistance.
If she is fairly healthy you may be better off negotiating prices and cash pay.
We have a friend that had a knee and hip replacement, the hospital accepted 16k for their payment in full, my insurance is charged 23k a day for hospitalization with no surgery. They don't get paid that but you can see the huge discounts for self pay. You must ask, they won't offer. Negotiate, negotiate, negotiate.
Wasn't your mom completely miserable when she stayed with you? I ask because this will be the case if you bring her back. Are you really willing and able to go through that with no end date? You matter in this situation, please do not give up your wellbeing to sacrifice your life to trying to make her happy, it won't happen.
This only pertains to those on Medicare using Medicare providers. If you don't have Medicare, you pay the full amount if your insurance doesn't pay. I had traditional, so I paid for doctor visits, fully. My Gson had a procedure and his insurance was a 5k deductable. Because of the high deductable, he was not charged the full for amount. So in some cases, if you pay cash the payment maybe lower.
Whether your mom is in the US or India the current knowledge on how to treat dementia is pretty much the same. Comfortable and reasonably content is about all we can hope for.
I know it would make you feel better to touch her.
Mom has no access to technology. If someone turns on Skype and she only needs to stare at the screen, then she will go on Skype.
I worry about elder abuse if mom becomes weaker....that mom will take need help in the bathroom and the aides will handle her roughly etc...this happened to someone else in that AL place because it was only the patient and the aide. There was nobody to check on the aide.
Right now, the night attendant is a wonderful lady and I blindly trust her.
Thank you
Without Medicare health insurance is going to be really high. Are you ready to care for Mom 24/7 and give up everything to do it. She will not be able to get help for 5 years. Can u afford 5k to 10k a month if she needs AL or LTC.
Mom lives in her own unit in an assisted living center but that place is not really suited for dementia patients.
Those plans are costly for everyone, not just for your mother. But it may be looking into.