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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
"Google" to see if you have a local caregiver support group in your area. That is how I found my caregiver support group that literally saved my life when I was deep in the throes of caregiving for my late husband. My group meets once a week in person and once a week on Zoom. And of course this forum is meant for support as well, although I can tell you from personal experience that meeting in person with other folks that are going through what you are is invaluable, and I highly recommend trying to find a group that meets in person.
I actually just joined this group and I'm so glad I did. I have been caring for my mother for the past 8 years. I had to quit my job and give up my salary. I have two siblings, one lives almost 2 hours away and the other in another state, and she has health issues. At the time Mom was diagnosed with dementia and later, her doctor said Alzheimer's I was the one that gave up everything. I'm married, but only for 13 years, and me being a caregiver has put a strain on my marriage as well, since I now have to live with my mother 100% of the time. Yes, my husband claims we "don't" have the room at our house, but it's for other reasons, I won't get into here, Anyway, it wasn't until about a year ago, that I started getting real support from my brother who lives 2 hours away. So, I know what you are going through. Even tho he comes to help, Mom doesn't get the same care as when I am here, but at least she's fed and in pretty good spirits when I get back. I have also just reached out to the Alzheimer's Association for help with finding an online support group since I can't leave Mom alone. My first meeting will be this Friday, February 14th. Yes, it's taken me this long, but I feel that I have hit my limit and need some support. Maybe you can reach out to them as well. Friends mean well, but if you aren't going through or have been through what we are all going through, it's not the same. It's not that they don't mean well, they just don't really understand. Truthfully, if I have one more person tell me that I'm a good daughter, or Mom is blessed to have me, I'm going to scream. Or I love it when my friends ask me what I need help with, and when I tell them "two hours of their time", I don't hear from them. Or I even love it better when they tell me to take care of myself. Really???
Anyway, you're off to a good start by joining this group. Hopefully, we can provide you with some support even it's just through typing.
Sending hugs to you. It's hard, I won't lie. But also know you're not alone on this journey.
Hi verysad98. When you say you have no family support, do you mean you have no siblings, or no siblings who will assist you? Sometimes siblings, if you have them, need to be told how they can help you. Same with friends. They may not know how to offer emotional support. Let them know if you could use a casserole brought to the house, or someone to visit so you can have "non-dementia" conversation. Are you affiliated with a church? If so, having them listen and pray with you for strength thru this may be supportive. Unfortunately a caregivers world gets smaller when the world of the person being cared for gets smaller. I experienced that myself. Just talking to friends on the phone or facetiming has helped me. If you can arrange for care even a few hours weekly so you have decompress time, that is a way to mentally and physically recharge. I wish you the best in finding what you need for your emotional well being.
Hi, Very Sad. You have been here before, and I think November last year was your first posts to us. I am uncertain what sort of emotional support you are expecting, hoping for? I mean, you can come here, certainly and we can say we are sorry for all the distress and the burnout. But I am not certain what real use that is to anyone. It is a kind of Church-on-Sunday sort of thing. It might feel good for the hour you're there, and for a few hours after, but it doesn't really change the situation.
I think there are support groups on Facebook for certain, and many of the groups are for members only, where you can be perfectly honest. I would try your local Council or Agency on Aging in city or county and ask for guidance for support groups. They are often few, because people giving 24/7 care find it so difficult just to get away for a few hours.
Do you have supportive family? Friends? Church group?
I wish I could offer more. Part of caregiving is in knowing how long you can go on, recognizing when you have done your best and can do no more. Practice the Serenity Prayer and I say that as an Atheist. For me it brings clearly to my mind just exactly what in life's troubles I have any control over, and what I do NOT. It helps me let go of unreal expectations, and is wonderful for fostering acceptance when there really is no answer but to accept the really bad times as bad weather systems that may pass to a sunnier day.
Sorry things are a struggle right now. We do hear you.
Hi Verysad98, Welcome to the forum! You will get lots of emotional support here. You will also get wisdom born from experience, and maybe even some well-meaning parental "input" -- depending on what you have going on. Many of us have "been there, done that" and many are in the thick of it... so, we get it.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My group meets once a week in person and once a week on Zoom.
And of course this forum is meant for support as well, although I can tell you from personal experience that meeting in person with other folks that are going through what you are is invaluable, and I highly recommend trying to find a group that meets in person.
I actually just joined this group and I'm so glad I did. I have been caring for my mother for the past 8 years. I had to quit my job and give up my salary. I have two siblings, one lives almost 2 hours away and the other in another state, and she has health issues. At the time Mom was diagnosed with dementia and later, her doctor said Alzheimer's I was the one that gave up everything. I'm married, but only for 13 years, and me being a caregiver has put a strain on my marriage as well, since I now have to live with my mother 100% of the time. Yes, my husband claims we "don't" have the room at our house, but it's for other reasons, I won't get into here,
Anyway, it wasn't until about a year ago, that I started getting real support from my brother who lives 2 hours away. So, I know what you are going through. Even tho he comes to help, Mom doesn't get the same care as when I am here, but at least she's fed and in pretty good spirits when I get back.
I have also just reached out to the Alzheimer's Association for help with finding an online support group since I can't leave Mom alone. My first meeting will be this Friday, February 14th. Yes, it's taken me this long, but I feel that I have hit my limit and need some support. Maybe you can reach out to them as well.
Friends mean well, but if you aren't going through or have been through what we are all going through, it's not the same. It's not that they don't mean well, they just don't really understand. Truthfully, if I have one more person tell me that I'm a good daughter, or Mom is blessed to have me, I'm going to scream. Or I love it when my friends ask me what I need help with, and when I tell them "two hours of their time", I don't hear from them. Or I even love it better when they tell me to take care of myself. Really???
Anyway, you're off to a good start by joining this group. Hopefully, we can provide you with some support even it's just through typing.
Sending hugs to you. It's hard, I won't lie. But also know you're not alone on this journey.
When you say you have no family support, do you mean you have no siblings, or no siblings who will assist you?
Sometimes siblings, if you have them, need to be told how they can help you. Same with friends. They may not know how to offer emotional support. Let them know if you could use a casserole brought to the house, or someone to visit so you can have "non-dementia" conversation.
Are you affiliated with a church? If so, having them listen and pray with you for strength thru this may be supportive.
Unfortunately a caregivers world gets smaller when the world of the person being cared for gets smaller. I experienced that myself. Just talking to friends on the phone or facetiming has helped me.
If you can arrange for care even a few hours weekly so you have decompress time, that is a way to mentally and physically recharge.
I wish you the best in finding what you need for your emotional well being.
You have been here before, and I think November last year was your first posts to us.
I am uncertain what sort of emotional support you are expecting, hoping for?
I mean, you can come here, certainly and we can say we are sorry for all the distress and the burnout. But I am not certain what real use that is to anyone. It is a kind of Church-on-Sunday sort of thing. It might feel good for the hour you're there, and for a few hours after, but it doesn't really change the situation.
I think there are support groups on Facebook for certain, and many of the groups are for members only, where you can be perfectly honest. I would try your local Council or Agency on Aging in city or county and ask for guidance for support groups. They are often few, because people giving 24/7 care find it so difficult just to get away for a few hours.
Do you have supportive family? Friends? Church group?
I wish I could offer more. Part of caregiving is in knowing how long you can go on, recognizing when you have done your best and can do no more. Practice the Serenity Prayer and I say that as an Atheist. For me it brings clearly to my mind just exactly what in life's troubles I have any control over, and what I do NOT. It helps me let go of unreal expectations, and is wonderful for fostering acceptance when there really is no answer but to accept the really bad times as bad weather systems that may pass to a sunnier day.
Sorry things are a struggle right now. We do hear you.