I put my mother in assisted living in March. She thinks that if she talks to her Dr. he will let her go home since I have explained to her that 3 Drs. wrote letters saying that she can't live alone anymore. She can not remember hardly anything anymore, short term memory is completely shot, long term memory is fading also.
Not bring POA places like SS, IRS, VA will not talk to you about your loved one. Even when you do have the paper work you will still need to meet their guidelines too! My mothers SS was garnished because someone filed taxes using her SS #, a refund was issued to the thief and then the IRS started take money from my mom. Since I was appointed to be my mothers SS payee(manage her money) they could tell me that the IRS was taking back money. IRS would only talk to me once I faxed them my POA paperwork, and only for that phone call. Until they accepted my 2848 form and they approved me could they then talk to me all the time now.
POA is important to be in order to help your loved one, if not you will be really frustrated trying to do things.
If using the drops or having the surgery would make her more confused or agitated, then that would be something to discuss with her doctor.
Will she be able to follow the rules and not bend over or lift heavy objects for a week or so? That's the only caution I would have.
She will adjust, and quit wanting to go home so badly.