I've posted before that mother has colon cancer and we are home from the hospital with hospice. Friday will be two weeks that we are home. Yesterday she slept a lot, but was ok when she woke up. At 8:30 pm she used the bathroom, put her back in bed and she finally slept because she had a lot of pain from her arthritis. I gave her her meds and around 2:00 am, dilaudid. Today she also slept a lot nurse told me to start giving her Ativan regularly, not as needed like I was doing, but all of a sudden she's starting to see things that are not there, talking not clearly, wanting to go do things like cutting something... before she also asked me if my dad was there (my father passed away 10 years ago) I told her no and she said good.
I'm scared what's going on? Is it the meds? Is it part of the decline fast approaching? It's 12:30 am I told her to just relax and sleep that tomorrow we will do everything. She also as not used the bathroom since last evening. She said she wanted to around 6:00 pm I tried to get her up but she was very weak and not able. I'm sleeping next to her in a different bed and she keeps talking/mumbling. I hope someone is up and knows what's happening, what do I do?
My time will come when I will be in your shoes and it scares me/makes my tummy flip ...but, knowing aging care friends will be here to hold me up and walk me through the "unknown" brings me comfort that I won't be totally alone.
Hoping you find comfort and a little less loneliness being here.
Thank you for sharing your experience with your sweet momma.....
Thinking of you both all day,
Bella
Yes we are sitting with you now, Blackcloud.
Many of us have been where you are now. While it's tough, it's an honor to be with your loved one when they leave. A time like no other. Hold her hand, speak to her with love, just being there is enough.
During my mom's final night, I just provided comfort, did some mouth care, cool washcloud to her forehead as she was clammy, rearranged the pillows and sheets. Just being able to touch her felt very calming for me, and I hope her as well.
Our hearts are with you.
May you both find a little rest tonight
If it is keeping with your beliefs then say the Lord's Prayer wth your mom and end with God bless mom
I'm not versed in hospice care but my mom doesn't do well on Ativan on a hospital setting and a large dose knocks her out
Note: you're not disagreeing, you're just asking. Don't worry that anyone will think you're being difficult or a nuisance, you're just being a good caregiver.
You are sitting up with your mother who is declining?
Putting on some soft music, reading to her, may soothe her.
Take a lukewarm washcloth gently to her face. This is comforting. Talk to her. If she awakes enough to want to go to the bathroom, you may need to ask your husband to wake up just long enough to assist her to use the toilet.
Or, do you have a bedpan, or waterproof sheets?
It must be a comfort to your mom that you are there with her. 97yearoldmom is so right - what you said to your mom was really nice. We talked with my grandpa a little and held his hand, but most of the time we just sat with him. (And we did take breaks too.)
I feel really bad for you and your mom. I hope things calm down a bit so you can sleep a little.
I hope you can get some rest tonight
Hugs, Bella
It's 2:00 am and she keeps talking/mumbeling, I tried telling her to go to sleep but she keeps talking. I'm not saying anything to her.
I wish I had someone that could stay with me...
What they told us with hospice is that the person can be declining then perk up then go back to sleeping a lot. My grandpa had a rapid decline of about 2 weeks after a case of pneumonia he never fully recovered from. His was pretty steady where he started sleeping more and hardly eating, waking only to take a sip of water. By the time he stopped drinking he was not waking up at all. We did not see those bursts of energy like they said he might get, so I don't know what it looks like when someone gets those. Hopefully others will be up to comment.
Do you think your mom might be reacting to the Ativan? It can cause hallucinations in some people, and can cause agitation (it did agitate my grandpa before, though he did not have any visible effects when they administered it to him when he was sleeping so much.) Also is she still drinking fluids? Do you think she could be dehydrated?
I am so sorry. I know it is scary. Did your hospice people give you a number you can call 24/7? They must be used to getting calls from family members in similar situations. I hope your mom is ok and that you will be able to get some sleep.