The towels aren't stacked right. The toilet isn't clean enough. You left the basement lite on. Don't hang my robe there. Hang it at the other end. Can't she just be grateful I drive the 80 miles to clean without being so fussy? It is so frustrating. If I say something, she says I'm too sensitive.
Bless you for driving the distance you do to take care of her needs. My advice is just do it her way. Because I work in home healthcare I've often thought of what kind of patient I'd be if I needed outside help to help me maintain my home and health. For example, I like vacuum tracks. I like the room to look like I just vacuumed it so I vacuum myself out of every room I vacuum. Now, what kind of lunatic would I sound like if I instructed someone on the way I vacuum! But that's how I like it.
I also have a thing about sponges. The way I do things, if I have to mop up something with a sponge I always, ALWAYS, rinse the sponge out when I'm done. I've seen my daughter wipe the counter with the sponge and then just PUT IT BACK!!! Oh, hell no!
When I clean my shower doors I spray the scrubbing bubbles stuff on and then wipe the hard water stains down with a sponge (a BATHROOM sponge) and only then do I take a paper towel, folded over, and dry the doors. The towel has to be folded over because it gets damp so quick and I have to turn it over to use the other side.
In our own homes we all do things our own way. I think it's probably very difficult to know that you need someone to come in and do what you've been doing for years and years. If your mom wants her robe hung on THAT side of the door instead of the OTHER side of the door, do it her way. Maybe she'll get off your back.