While setting at the table she hollered out that she was going to Cry and 2 of my siblings told her if she did they would leave(It's Mother's Day). Most of the time we were there she talked out of her head and I was the only one, it seemed, that was listening to her. She's getting so much worse.
I know I cannot get my siblings to listen or care that's pretty much determined a long time ago. But where do I go from here? Do I call the Protective Service because Mom is falling all the time?
Talking with the siblings has done more harm then good because they tend to call each other and by the time it gets back to me it's totally different then what I've said plus they tell Mom and it gets her all upset. I've tried a group meeting and everyone just gives different opinions without addressing the issues at hand. I even made a list of what the problems were...and they still argued about them. I just have to walk away and do whatever I can for Mom(which is a lot) without any help.
By the way, when Mom fell yesterday she was taking out brownies from the oven and they fell on the floor. I asked her not to bake/cook anymore and she said that the doctor did not tell her she couldn't.
Thanks!
Otherwise, YOU do what you can, set boundaries on which days you will come and visit mom, grocery shop, dr visits, etc. and stick to it. "Mom, I will come every Thurs eve and we will go out to dinner". "Mom I'll come every other Sunday afternoon and we'll visit." Period. Then stick to it. Give MOM a call list and put other sibs numbers ahead of yours. If mom calls you, ignore and see if she calls "Mary" and then Mary can call you with the lowdown.
As others have said before, only you can allow yourself to be the doormat. They may not help...but only you can answer for you.
Plan for yourself and start researching future care for mom. Understand all your options and the cost. When the crisis happens, you can take action. Then let sibs know, that all care expenses comes out of the estate and everyone will be relinquishing their fair share.
If you want, start now and start documenting mileage, hrs spent with mom, travel time, etc. keep good records, and in the end --deduct it from the estate and add to your share.
I suggest you talk with mom and understand wills, DPOA, AMD, investments, bank accts etc and find out who mom has selected to manage her affairs should something happen...then get copies and keep in safe place.
Your profile says that you're caring for your mom but from what you wrote it sounds like you were visiting your mom yesterday? And while you were there she fell?
Where and with whom does mom live?