Worse than when she left. Weak, can't hardly walk, even when using the walker. She did well before most of the time with walker. I have to crush crushable pills and put in food as she will not swallow pills anymore with exception of a low dose aspirin she took while visiting nurse was here (only one time). My heart is extremely broken. She is 91 and I love her dearly. We are supposed to get a visit from hospice for evaluation but I'm afraid of what is going to happen. My mom also suffers from dementia. I think the nurse mentioned the part of hospice call AIM and said it was the first level. Has anyone else had this program? Does my mom have to stop going for treatment to drs. if she get sick and has this part of hospice? I guess it's only a matter of time before she gets worse but I love her so much and hate to see her suffering and looking so sad. Thanks in advance to any who reply and hope any who are going through this or something similar will get through it the best way possible.
She's back home, but on conditions she work to get stronger and allow in home care.
Never a fan of mine, I do not have contact with her--so my DH and his sis are caring for her. (sad laughter) SIL is carrying the full burden as DH cannot stand to be around his mother. I have offered to do meals that can be microwaved that would be better than MOW's but have been rebuffed. I am not allowed at her home, so I have to sit on the sidelines and try to keep from smacking my DH. I've explained to him fifty times how quickly he could get her some healthy, pre-prepared meals by just using the local whole foods store, but he won't.
She's not my monkey, not my problem, but, oh I am so ashamed of DH.
Lately MIL has been posting everyday or so on FB about death and drying and getting old. She's seriously depressed, but at age 89, I don't know what can be done to help her.
It really IS time to discuss Palliative care with her---or at least moving to a place where she can be monitored 24/7. She won't do it and her kids won't push.
I'm so sorry that you and mom are going through this. Your experience with your mom declining after each hospitalization is what led my brothers and me to consider Hospice care; we realized that taking mom to the hospital was slowly killing her.
At that point, we signed off on Palliative Care, which is what I believe the A.I.M program is; see this link: https://www.sutterhealth.org/services/palliative-advanced-illness-management/advanced-illness-management-aim
Make a list of questions for the hospice nurse/evaluator to answer. Hospice and/or palliative care is NOT giving up; it's getting your mom extra care and reduction of symptoms. You stop the unnecessary testing, poking and pinching. You stop trying to "cure" the uncurbable.
Yes, it is a heart-wrenching decision to make, because you face the reality of losing your parent. But in the end, the care was all about mom and not about doctor's egos and cures.