Since that time has had multiple incidents including her calling me 2 months ago lost at the mall, no idea how she got there or who she had come with. Could not find her car. Today I called her and she said something was wrong with her car. Upon inspection it was obvious she had an accident. Does not remember. Advice on how to take her car??? She lives in a continuing care community most of year, at a vacation home where someone is with her most of the time for the summer.
Remember, any time we take away something from our parent, we need to replace it with something else.
Thus, set up a transportation service for your Mom. Or tell Mom you will be available on such and such days to take her where ever she wishes to go. Make sure you set boundaries. I didn't with my parents, and it seemed like they wanted to leave their house 2-3 times a day. Not easy when one works full-time :(
You need to backpeddle and become an accomplished teller of the Therapeutic Fib. Don’t leave the keys out where she can get them. Disable the car somehow (a mechanic can tell you how) for back-up security. It’s not easy to take away their independence, but for the safety of others on the road, it’s necessary.
My mom gave up her car voluntarily after a fender bender that wasn’t even her fault. I took her shopping and to appointments about twice a week. It wasn’t overwhelming. If anything, it encouraged her to join in the activities at her Senior Apartment. She also had access to the Community Transport. It really wasn’t the end of the world.
And yes, you’ll have to figure a way for her to get around. That may be the harder part.
I went through this with my dad. He could still handle the car safely but was forgetting how to find places. And he would make several short trips each day to the store, go out get gas, then go to the hardware.......Each trip an adventure in getting lost and confused.
I disabled his car by pulling the starter relay. Very easy to do. Then finally got he and mom in assisted living. He spent every day looking for his car. It took weeks for him to adjust.
You have a bigger responsibility to OTHER DRIVERS out on the road who don't want their children or themselves killed! What if the aging parent pulls out in front of a car, or drives in the wrong lane?
Guilt shouldn't over ride common sense.
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