Hello all, I am looking for some guidance from people who have been here. My mother has lung cancer (Stage 3 diagnosed in Nov 2018). They gave her 3 months when she was first diagnosed. We did chemo and radiation and she did well. She started immunotherapy and after a few months she was very weak and we found metastasis to the brain, which we found in Nov 2019. Since then, she did Gamma Knife and nothing else. She is in hospice at home since February 2020 but still speaks, eats well, and is mostly alert. She does have moments of bad memory and confusion and cannot really walk anymore without assistance, and with assistance it is difficult.
Has anyone else had a loved one in this situation? I would like to know what to expect going forward. Her doctors have not been able to give me a time frame. It could be weeks or months, they say, which is not helpful. When she was first diagnosed, they told us 3 months. A year and a half later, here we are. A couple of months ago they told us weeks. And here we are. They really have no idea. They just keep telling me to take it one day at a time. I'm just looking for someone who has gone through it and is further along than us, and tell me what I could expect? Thank you.
The end, which will come, and in some ways it isn't much different. Be there. Talk. Make sure she's clean and comfortable. Keep her surrounded by love.
I'm sorry. And you are doing amazing.
The morning she died, the hospice nurse told me she saw no indications that death was near. She died about two hours later. So...I don't think my answer is helpful but, in my experience, one day at a time is really your only option.
A friend of mine lost her sister in April after being diagnosed in November with Lung cancer that had metastasized to her brain. (she was stage 4 at time of diagnosis)
Rejoice in the days where she feels well
Comfort her on the days she doesn't
Give her all the love you can.
Tell her that you will be alright when she is gone because she raised you to be strong and independent. Thank her for that.
Hold her hand, tell her that you love her.
There are pamphlets you can read, I am sure your Hospice has given you one about what to expect. But no matter what you read it does not seem real until you are actually dealing with End of Life (EOL)
((hugs)) to you and her.