My 88-year-old mother has mild Parkinsonism. So far, the only symptoms are shuffling of her feet and she tires easily due to the medications she takes. She is otherwise in generally good physical and mental condition. Mom has been living in our home since my stepfather died around early April 2020. I told her she can stay with my husband and I as long as I can take care of her needs. My husband and I both work, so we cannot be with her 24/7. She has a Great Call Smartphone2 and the pendant for emergencies, with fall alert.
Mom is very sweet but can be stubborn sometimes. For example, at one time, early during her stay, I suggested she move near my sister, who is her POA and lives out of state and offered to stay with Mom, until all of the paperwork involving my stepfather's estate and life insurances could be completed. Doing that long-distance with Sis needing Mom's signatures on paperwork and Mom's verbal permission for Sis to talk to the various companies on Mom's behalf was a headache. But Mom said no. So now I wonder how I will get her moved into Assisted Living if she says she won't go.
Mom can afford AL. My sister and I are both authorized signers on Mom's checking accounts. But how would I physically get Mom to move if she refuses to go? I don't know if my sister would be of assistance.
When the time comes I would be perfectly honest to the extent your Mom can understand everything. You will have to sit her down with family and say that you wish now to live alone with your own family and have your own life, and that you will not be deserting her, will be available to visit and assist, and will help her find the best living facility.
You are right in knowing that once you invite a Senior into your home it makes it ever so much more difficult to say it is not working for you. But that's what you will have to do at that point. You will have to accept that it is YOUR choice, that it is NOT working, and that it is time to do this.
You can't know now what Mom's condition will be, nor her level of being ABLE to understand. She may not be capable of understanding, and it will just have to be "done". Place found, possessions moved, and etc.
Try not to think too much ahead other than to know that this day will probably come, and that it will have to be addressed however it is able to be at that time.