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my mother just showed up at my house . She says I’m rude because I told her I don’t want her here. I don’t know what to do
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Stick to your guns.

You are no longer her scratching post.

Okay, so you're rude, SO WHAT!

She is just trying to guilt you into taking her in, DON'T DO IT!
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Stuck4ever Feb 2020
I asked her if they kicked her out. She yelled at me and said I’m an awful daughter.
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Let her say whatever she wants, you need to protect yourself from her.

She can't say anything that can make you lay down and let her walk on you.

People tend to get mad when we hit the nail on the head.

Stay strong and don't worry about what she says, it is all just manipulation to get her own way.

Great big warm hug and strength!
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You can forgive her but that doesn’t mean you have to tolerate abuse or keep a toxic relationship going. You mentioned that she sounded intoxicated. Don’t be shy about calling her out on it. Say something like “I know you are my mother but I don’t have talk to you while you are drunk and treating me like shit. I’m having none of it”.
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O please don't take her in. Set her up in a cheap motel for a couple of days. Tell her she needs to go to Social Services Monday for help. They will find her someplace.
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Don’t take her in. She’s not your responsibility!! Tell her NO!!
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This is not YOUR problem. This is your mother's problem.

What you do is you say "mother, you can't possibly live here. We tried it once and it didn't work. You'll have to make other arrangements".

Give her the number for Adult Services in her area. Then shut the door firmly.
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Listen to me my friend, you did what you could for your abusive mother. You are not responsible for her anymore. You are to be responsible for only you, your children and your husband or any other person who will hold you up and respect you. Shut the door. It's ok if you're done. I'm there as well. So I get it.
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NeedHelpWithMom Feb 2020
Great advice! Concentrate on those who matter and are worthy of us. We must be our own strongest advocate.

Yes, shut the door and leave it shut. When I closed the door it remained closed. It would be a nightmare to open. close, open, close and so forth. This goes for anyone who is insulting, toxic or hurtful, not just relatives but any relationship that isn’t beneficial to us.

Most people wish to be able to work things out with family members but if the other party isn’t capable of doing so, it’s a waste of time and effort.

No point in trying to reason with them. They will take it as an opportunity to promote themselves and insult further rather than listening to what is being said to them.

I no longer waste my time anymore with anyone who only have an agenda of being self centered. It’s liberating to ‘clean house’ so to speak of whatever doesn’t belong.
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