I wrote here summertime when mom moved into my house after my sister kicked her out. We fought everyday and she would call me names (5 months) I have kids and a husband and they witnessed this.
One day, family came over packed her stuff and moved her to live with her sister. No contact since, until last week and today. She wants to visit for the holidays. She kept saying “I’m your mother “ (she sounded intoxicated) But I can’t see her, she triggers me. Since she moved out I’m in therapy and have been diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety (and feel like my work has been unraveled). I know she’s my elderly mother that I was suppose to care for, but I can’t handle her. I’m happier when I don’t hear from her.
You are no longer her scratching post.
Okay, so you're rude, SO WHAT!
She is just trying to guilt you into taking her in, DON'T DO IT!
She can't say anything that can make you lay down and let her walk on you.
People tend to get mad when we hit the nail on the head.
Stay strong and don't worry about what she says, it is all just manipulation to get her own way.
Great big warm hug and strength!
What you do is you say "mother, you can't possibly live here. We tried it once and it didn't work. You'll have to make other arrangements".
Give her the number for Adult Services in her area. Then shut the door firmly.
Yes, shut the door and leave it shut. When I closed the door it remained closed. It would be a nightmare to open. close, open, close and so forth. This goes for anyone who is insulting, toxic or hurtful, not just relatives but any relationship that isn’t beneficial to us.
Most people wish to be able to work things out with family members but if the other party isn’t capable of doing so, it’s a waste of time and effort.
No point in trying to reason with them. They will take it as an opportunity to promote themselves and insult further rather than listening to what is being said to them.
I no longer waste my time anymore with anyone who only have an agenda of being self centered. It’s liberating to ‘clean house’ so to speak of whatever doesn’t belong.