Stage 4 PD mom is aware that she can't stay in the house forever because of all a house needs is too much for her to think about. HOWEVER, she's been talking about a retirement community she and a friend looked at like 8 yrs ago before her Parksinson's got to be where it is. She cannot walk on her own, cannot get out of bed or go the toilet without assistance etc. She is very weak and thin. She is becoming confused and disoriented. She knows on some level that she can't continue to stay here even though I am her primary live in caregiver. BUT I AM NOT A NURSE and her needs are becoming more cumbersome even for me. She wants both of us to move into a retirement community together. I think that's ludicrous because aren't those places for people to age into not come in in the condition mom's in from the get go. Mom's in denial about where she really needs to be and I don't feel comfortable being the bad guy to tell her. Being an only child sucks. How should I handle this?
She also needs to realize that most modern nursing homes are quite good and even pleasant to be around (unfortunately, this depends a lot on where you live). But many elders have outdated views of nursing homes. Tell her you'll be there to visit just as you do now.
Eventually, you'll get through this.
Take care,
Carol