Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Shut door or won't open. Will not let them in, if few times late. Needs someone every day, but refuses. Refuses any eval. Insists she's fine, but forgets to take meds or mixes them up at the times she wants to take them.
I had a similar situation with my mother. Finally, at a point where she wasn't eating because she didn't have the energy to get to the kitchen I found someone in her neighborhood who had done in-home health care. Luckily, this person was also an avid gardener, as was my Mom in her younger days. This gal called herself a Personal Assistant. She would bring her own breakfast drink and then make Mom what she wanted. She didn't do a lot in the house but did work in the yard. Although part of me was thinking "I don't pay you to be a gardener", I also saw my Mom enjoying the way the garden was looking.
When Mom would protest something I would put it back on me. "Mom, you need to do this for me. I don't live very close (35 miles away) and I know some days you don't eat because you don't feel well. I worry myself sick over it. You need to do this for me".
It is hard to give up your independence, to find someone else organizing things in your house, to have things moved around. Nevertheless, if anything happened to your Mother and someone found her on the floor after a couple of days, or she hadn't eaten, you would feel awful. Tough love. Personal Assistant for just a few hrs a day to tidy up and prepare a meal. It is a start.
APS is a good last route idea. First maybe try bringing over a caregiver (someone you think would get along with your mother) and introducing the caregiver as a friend. Stay while the caregiver is there and then when the two of you leave, tell your mom the new friend would like to come back and spend more time with her. This was the suggestion of an excellent nurse practitioner who specializes in seeing people with dementia. I never had to try this but it seems like a possible solution.
Tough one and I've been there. My mom refused her caregivers after 3 woks and called the cops to have them removed. Since I hired them without benefit of POA, legally she didn't have to allow them in the home.
Drs would not sign off to order them.
She has been "maintaining" with no meds for about a year now. Does she need help? In my mind and others yes, but I have been reluctant to call APS.
If she is in imminent danger to herself or absolutely can't manage without in home assistance, then you can call APS. Hopefully, it will be a good experience for you and they can get your mom to agree to reinstate help.
Is there anything that might encourage her to open the door? A fresh, homemade meal, flowers, a friendly pet she has met before? Sometimes they need a warm connection that is familiar and comforting to respond positively.
And if this doesn't work, I would agree with Pam and call APS.
Call your county APS (adult protective services) and they will send a social worker who will check on her welfare. If the patient is deemed at considerable risk, the county may get a court-ordered inpatient evaluation. It's better if you call them before they call you.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
When Mom would protest something I would put it back on me. "Mom, you need to do this for me. I don't live very close (35 miles away) and I know some days you don't eat because you don't feel well. I worry myself sick over it. You need to do this for me".
It is hard to give up your independence, to find someone else organizing things in your house, to have things moved around. Nevertheless, if anything happened to your Mother and someone found her on the floor after a couple of days, or she hadn't eaten, you would feel awful. Tough love. Personal Assistant for just a few hrs a day to tidy up and prepare a meal. It is a start.
Drs would not sign off to order them.
She has been "maintaining" with no meds for about a year now. Does she need help? In my mind and others yes, but I have been reluctant to call APS.
If she is in imminent danger to herself or absolutely can't manage without in home assistance, then you can call APS. Hopefully, it will be a good experience for you and they can get your mom to agree to reinstate help.
And if this doesn't work, I would agree with Pam and call APS.