Poppiesc Asked September 2018
Mom (86) says she always feels sick to her stomach, says she never feels good, and always says she wishes that she would die. Any advice?
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How can I help my mom not feel so terrible. I love her so much. She's never felt sick or depressed my whole life. That's not my mother, she's always been on the go and positive my whole life.
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After seeing the doctor for anti-depression medication, there are a few things that might help. Sometimes this stuff would help my dad and sometimes not.
Daddy was a food person so making a favorite dish, particularly one from his mother's cookbook, would often get a positive response. Getting him talking about watching his mother cooking or eating this dish with his family would help too.
Daddy liked the "movie" experience, I believe it was one of the few good experiences from his childhood. I would put on an old western DVD or and make an ice cream float and some buttered popcorn and sit down beside him. Even if he ignored me or didn't seem interested at first, he usually ended up watching the show and eating some popcorn.
When I was growing up, our family spent a lot of time on the back porch. So I would work on getting Daddy on the porch or under the shade trees. He still played a great game of checkers and could usually be challenged into at least the first game.
The one thing guaranteed to get a positive response from my dad was playing with his great-grandchildren.
As time went on, I found that activities Daddy chose for us when I was a child or adolescence seemed to work better engaging him.
Good luck!
Unfortunately, there might not be much you can do.
*Has she gone to a doctor for depression? Maybe depression meds might help.
*Does she have any signs of dementia? Sometimes the person recognizes their own mental decline and gets depressed.
*Has her health declined rapidly recently? That's enough to not want to keep going.
*Does she have any friends left? Do they visit? You could try socializing more.
*Would the statement of wishing to die be a ploy for more attention?
*Have you tried over the counter medications (Pepto Bismol, Gas X, Tums, etc.)?
*Would she be open to seeing a therapist? Maybe her doctor could recommend one.
*Did she just loose your Dad or another family member? That could be a reason for not feeling well.
*Is she emptying her bowels on a routine (not necessarily daily) basis. Constipation can cause nausea.
It's so hard when our loved ones aren't feeling well. Good luck.
Has the discomfort been diagnosed? Have underlying causes been ruled out?
If there is nothing "wrong" can you pinpoint when she feel sick to her stomach? Before a meal? after a meal?
If it is before maybe many smaller meals spread out through out the day might help. If it is after a meal did she eat anything specific that is causing pain or discomfort?
If everything seems fine maybe she is eating faster than she should, swallowing air, maybe she is eating too much. It can take a while for an older persons system to digest so the breakfast she ate my be just leaving when lunch comes in.
But I would consult the doctor to see if anything medically can be ruled out.