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Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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She still values her independence and has seemed 15-20 years younger than she is for the last 30 years. Any suggestions on what might be causing this constant need to sleep.
Barbara - I remember one time when my mother, in her 70's, was SO Tired, too tired to go to the doctor. She was on a medication that took away her appetite, but continued to take her blood pressure meds, and her potassium got very low, which causes major fatigue. She would have died if we hadn't forced her to go. So either get her to the doctor, or can a visiting nurse come and draw blood?
If she's dying, that's too bad, but if she has something reversible, you want to know.
Tell her she will die if she doesn't consent to go. That's not really a lie.
Hi Barbara, I hope you're able to persuade your mom to go the clinic. Father was in severe pain for weeks and just absolutely refused to go. I was sooo desperate, I called Adult Protective Service, who referred me to the adult elder lawyer, who said that he's an adult and his decision. I went to his insurance to see if anything can be done, and they referred me....back to APS! I finally gave up and decided to wait it out. He finally changed his mind when he had a hard time breathing - he also had a bad case of pneumonia on his left lung. So, I hope you succeed much better than I did. ..with your mom and the clinic.
Thank you Whitney and Perseverance. I accidently sent the info before I was finished writing. My first post. The idea of a bladder infection or UTI had not occurred to me. This is so different for me. She has had "fatigue periods," largely because she has overdone it at something, but this is different. She doesn't want to go to her doctor, says it is too much trouble and that she doesn't feel like going. I will take her temp and try to convince her otherwise. I think she at least needs bloodwork. Thank you for your responses.
How strong a relationship do you have with your mother? Is it strong enough that you can discuss with her that when people move in, even if they are relatives-that you expect them to do their share. If they have a job,then they should contribute to the bills and food. Explain that they are grown-ups and not minors or teenagers. If they don't have a job, then they need to contribute in other ways like home maintenance, doing the meals and even grow a small garden to help contribute with the food.
As for brother with the 3dogs, explain the expense of having these dogs and that brother should be responsible for them.
You can show her the receipt of the grocery and all your bills. Total the cost so that she can see how much she is paying to support these grown-ups. Explain that most young adults living with their parents are expected to contribute to the household. The same should apply to these relatives.
When I had itemized our total monthly expenses vs father's income, he realized that he was overspending and that we were dipping into his emergency fund. He was able to help me keep his spending within his monthly budget.
Hardtimes - Does your mother have dementia? Do you have legal power of attorney? If she is mentally competent, and she is willing to let your brother and the dogs move in, there's not much you can do. If she's willing to sign control over to you, then you have some power. Talk to your local area council on aging, but you may have to get a lawyer.
It's hard to watch someone allow themselves to be in harm's way when you can't do anything to protect them.
I have been living with my mom for many many years, it was just me and her, i have three brothers but they all have there own lives so it was just me and her. in the past year she has let five other relatives more in and none of them has given her any money or helped around the house,there eat the food she buys. well to the point my brother move in with his three big dogs that just run around like there no tomorrow and I'm afraid that she will be knock down and get injured. can i get control of the house.
It's hard to say. You don't leave much information on your mom. Her age, what is her problem, how long she's had it. What was she like before? And what is New now - other than sleeping all the time. Really, it's hard for us to even guess or give advice.
Father had UTI recently. He was very confused. He couldn't remember my name or who I am. He was seeing more people (I cannot see them). He couldn't tell if it was morning or night, struggled with words. And he was soooo violently angry. After he came home from the hospital, he was back to his old self.
I don't know, but it could be a UTI, (bladder infection). Some drug stores now carry home test kits. Bladder infections can cause confusion and fatique, and are common in the elderly.
We can't diagnose her on this forum. Perhaps it is best to make a doctors appointment? How old is your Mom? What are her current ailments/limitations/diagnoses? Is she eating? Does she eat pureed foods?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If she's dying, that's too bad, but if she has something reversible, you want to know.
Tell her she will die if she doesn't consent to go. That's not really a lie.
The idea of a bladder infection or UTI had not occurred to me. This is so different for me. She has had "fatigue periods," largely because she has overdone it at something, but this is different. She doesn't want to go to her doctor, says it is too much trouble and that she doesn't feel like going.
I will take her temp and try to convince her otherwise. I think she at least needs bloodwork. Thank you for your responses.
As for brother with the 3dogs, explain the expense of having these dogs and that brother should be responsible for them.
You can show her the receipt of the grocery and all your bills. Total the cost so that she can see how much she is paying to support these grown-ups. Explain that most young adults living with their parents are expected to contribute to the household. The same should apply to these relatives.
When I had itemized our total monthly expenses vs father's income, he realized that he was overspending and that we were dipping into his emergency fund. He was able to help me keep his spending within his monthly budget.
It's hard to watch someone allow themselves to be in harm's way when you can't do anything to protect them.
Father had UTI recently. He was very confused. He couldn't remember my name or who I am. He was seeing more people (I cannot see them). He couldn't tell if it was morning or night, struggled with words. And he was soooo violently angry. After he came home from the hospital, he was back to his old self.