Mom constantly asks about getting a job. She lives in AL facility. Her short term memory is pretty much gone. I tell her that I'll see what I can do, or that I'll look into finding something for her. She asked me today if I had any friends with small children that she could babysit. She did babysit children years ago. I'm thinking about a special doll that is recommended for Alzheimer's patients. I've seen them on Amazon. Have any of you purchased one of these dolls for your LO? How do I present it to my mom if I do get one for her? Many thanks.
I hope it works!! Good luck
Thank you for replying and for encouraging me through this idea. I have talked to the AL director about a "job" for Mom and nothing yet. Mom's attention span is so short that I doubt she can stay focused on anything for more than a minute or less.
Thank you for your encouragement. I think giving the doll to her as a gift to decorate her room is a wonderful way to present it to her.
If someone were to say to me “I thought this doll was SO DELIGHTFUL, and it reminded me of when you taught me how to take care of my toys (collected dolls....told Aunt Marion you loved her doll collection.... whatever you think might entice her interest) when I was a child. I couldn’t wait for you to see it. Let me leave ‘her’ with you for a day or two to decorate your room”, I’d be delighted.
Then leave it, and observe if/how she utilizes it. Don’t define the new addition to her room by your terms, but let Mom define it by her terms.
If Mom seems to be relating to the doll, ask her what her name is, or if she stays her room and so on.
May or may not work, but this is dementia. See if Mom will choose to engage!
What a lovely, thoughtful way to present it!! I LOVE this idea.
We would go to the thrift store and get new outfits and make a fuss over the baby. It worked for us.
However, your mom may find it insulting that you give her a baby doll. You say she is delusional most of the time and not in memory care, has she been assessed lately to ensure that she is getting the proper level of care? I worry about delusions causing fear and that their is someone close to reassure her if that happens. Anyway, you really just have to try and try until you find the solution for her.
Maybe a stuffed animal that needs care for a while? If the baby doesn't fly.
Best of luck, it is challenging.
There are Berenguer dolls that aren't too expensive and feel like real babies. The newborns are called "La Newborn".
My father always liked to be doing something - I used to pop the lens out of my glasses and ask him to fix it. I would also take in vegetables etc to peel/ pod etc - that they never went in the meal he ate was irrelevant - he always thought the potatoes or carrots he was eating tasted so much better as he thought he’d had a hand in preparing it.
A doll sounds like a good idea not that I know anything about them. - Does she knit? Maybe get some wool and patterns if thinks it’s for some child - or baking cookies for a useful activity / coffee morning you are having - not! (whatever she enjoys enjoyed doing really )
best of luck in your endeavours
kept her walking the halls with her walker. I would give her dollar bills for the
concession machines. "Pat, I cashed your paycheck."
FYI, in this small Care home, the other ladies are in wheelchairs and not walking.
If you are nervous about giving her a doll why don’t you just leave one in her room where she may find it and say nothing. Also maybe a stuffed animal. If she likes them you can just admire them and maybe play with them a little not telling her you got them. Hope this makes sense
blessings to you
A nurse friend was trading her old 'scope for a new one (the things are $$$) and graciously let me have it for Mom. I made sure to put every form of ID possible (things "vanish" in the NH) on the thing.
Mom checked the hearts of all the pts in the home. Home again with me, she checks my heart mornings.
It is a small thing, and I think the pt knows she/he isn't being useful, and wants to be. It is something from their past and is harmless. (No, no needles for mom!)
I do not know about the dolls, and I hope someone can tell you. But yes, if you can find something that will satisify her urge to do something, go for it!
It is great that she is in a facility that will care for her as long as she is not a flight risk.
My granny was in a wheelchair and she was a flight risk, had to wear an ankle bracelet so the alarm sounded if she tried to leave.
I hope you find something that gives her a feeling of contentment. For your sake as well.
I think that you have to approach it from the stance of the baby needs some care or held or rocked.
One day I came by and she and another resident were sitting together on the bed with a baby doll talking about who he was, where did he come from, where was his mother, etc. They were totally engaged with this little guy. I watched with amusement and love.
That same doll would show up at times with other residents. He was a well cared for "kid",
I like the idea of just placing one in her room and seeing what she does or just present it to her and tell her it needs care. Ask her if she might like that for a job, to be its nanny.
My own situation today finds me living with my 73 year old PDD husband who has little interest in anything let alone "helping" around the house. He used to do the dishes every night and always set out the garbage on Monday nights. These were the last executive order type chores he did. I am sure if he realized what he was no longer doing he'd be shocked. We take it a day at a time.
One thing I thought about trying was putting a microphone in front of him and giving him copies of old show prep (he's a retired Top 40 radio guy). I wonder if it would trigger anything for him. I sure miss his beautiful voice of years ago.
So, in the beginning here on AC, the first time I heard someone mention giving a doll/stuffed toy to their elderly loved one I found myself thinking “ Now, that’s just silly and even insulting”. Nothing worse than someone who thinks they know better - when they don’t even know that they don’t know anything, right? That was me.
Several years down the Dementia Highway I saw first hand just how effective a doll or stuffed animal can be. A woman in my mothers NH had a stuffed animal, which she clearly loved very much. I could never discern what type of animal it was as the woman was always clutching it so close to her. It was obvious this “toy” brought her a great deal of security and comfort. I saw this woman at least once a week for nearly a year - and I never once saw her without her beloved.
My own mother? She didn’t have a maternal bone in her body. Probably, in today’s more accepting society she would have chosen to remain childless. But, back in the late 50’s and early 60’s that really wasn’t done - except by the truly brave and self aware. Lucky for me, I guess. Anyhoo - I don’t think a doll would have done a thing for my mother. A stuffed animal? Maybe. But, I worried it would only remind her of her actual cat - of which she was obsessed with but had to give up (to my brother) when she moved to the NH. It took loosing the ability to speak to stop her from berating me over the loose of her cat. In hindsight- I think I probably should have given a stuffed animal a try...
I commend your desire to help ease your mother mind - and in such a deep and thoughtful way. I hope it works out for the both of you. And now, it’s kinda funny - given my initial reaction to the thought of giving a grown woman a doll to love... now I find it so touching and lovely - charming really. In a dementia kinda way.
The depth of your compassion is very moving.
I wish you well.
R27