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How are they managing their medications?
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Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Update: since I am using a temp agency until I find a perm caregiver for her (if I ever do!) - they are switching out girls every few days. This is problematic because mom keeps seeing different people "in her home" every few days. She can't bond or get adjusted, nor does she want to. Yesterday I decided to give the new (another one assigned) caregiver a break. Took mom out for groceries while she was madder than a hornet. I COULD NOT REDIRECT HER FOCUS AT ALL. she followed me in the cart, talking loudly, "You are a terrible daughter! If only your father knew what you were doing!" and "I'll move! I'll go back to Connecticut! I want everyone OUT!" and worse. yep, she said worse. By the time I left, after many sympathetic awkward smiles of support in the store, I was fried. I snapped at her. I got her home, gave her her meds, and I realized something. She is not on any anti-ANXIETY meds. None, and this is a woman who, in personality trait alone, has always been a nervous wreck; a true neurotic. I called the doctor today and told them she needs something and make it pack a punch because otherwise, i'll lose all help, and I will have no other option than placement, which I am trying to avoid because I like her being across the street in her own home with her dog, and mostly because I do not want to pay more to lose one-on-one care for her. I'd literally pay more and get less for my mom. Tomorrow doctor is squeezing us in. They just have to give her something for anti anxiety. I heard about Ativan and Klonopin. Anyone have experience with settling down someone who obsesses and won't let go, someone who gets so excited she is shaking? You cannot reason with dementia. She is a nervous wreck with all the "strangers" and will not admit she needs help (of course..)
When it comes to meds, let me gently remind you that mental pain is as excruciating as physical pain. If the MD prescribes a psychotropic, an antidepressant or even anxiety medication, it should be given. Withholding it often creates more problems than it solves. If the anxiety takes off uncontrolled, the heart does too, with dire consequences.
We had to get creative to get mom to take her meds when she was at that stage. Everybody was an impostor. Everybody. Especially me. The "nurses" were homeless people they brought in off the street. Of course, without her meds, this only escalated throughout the day.
Somebody told her they were vitamins for some reason, and she'd take her vitamins but not "those pills they're trying to poison me with".
Why can't they make these medications in the form of a gummy bear? Who says no to a gummy bear? ;-)
Hi all. Well, mom got up, ate breakfast today, and next thing I know she was at my front door chipper and ready to go shopping at Ross with the lady. So go figure. while this will not be a perm solution caregiver, it is temp for about 9 days and thankfully I think the temp is getting to know what mom's schedule SHOULD BE now. I really hope that she is putting out an effort to get to know mom and find a bond with her. I will update. But for now, mom's schedule is at least more what it should be and no outbursts this morning, though this evening could be a different story. As far as taking meds? won't take them for her....
What I would do and have already done is top contact the police and let them know my mums level of vulnerability and associated issues and given them my mobile phone and also the key safe number should anything drastic happen and they needed access for one reason or another. I live there so it shouldn't but you never know ....so just in case.
Mom's dementia is going into severe, yes. it's VD, but as we all know, Alz can slip in there too... I really don't know if that has happened or not. Mom is paranoid, untrustworthy, full of fear, and obviously doesn't like the idea of someone 'strange' sleeping in her house. she is already paranoid. The lady who is there said mom actually acted worse when I came around. By the time I left for the night, mom hugged me and whispered, "you know I love you" and I about broke down. Yes mom, I know you love me. and I love you. and that is WHY I am doing this!!!! But I didn't answer. I just said "I know..." The caregiver doesn't seem too fazed... she's been doing it 25 years and said she's seen worse. I gave mom an anxiety pill before I left so soon hopefully she will tire and go to bed. Her teeth may not be brushed - she won't let the girl do much right now - but maybe tomorrow she will be a little better. But me? I'm a wreck! And with her house paid for, it makes sense to keep her in it with home care - one-on-one care is always a first option. If only mom could get a perm in that she can grow to love and trust as she did the other woman. Plus the house is across the street from me...
Nikki, according to your other postings I wouldn't be surprised if the new Caregiver calls her agency to say she is leaving the house. Thus you will find yourself at your Mom's house taking care of her, which is probably what your Mom wants now that her favorite Caregiver had to leave. Maybe it is time to mull over that Mom needs another level of care, like at a continuing care facility.
My Mom had shooed the Caregiver out after 3 days, and it was a gal who is usually really good with difficult clients. Mom is now in long-term-care.
Haven't you posted that your mom has severe dementia? Dementia patients with severe dementia are not in charge. Their brain is not working properly and they have to be protected. I'd try to do that to the best of my ability. Most people with severe dementia aren't able to use a phone, tell a coherent story or even know their address.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Somebody told her they were vitamins for some reason, and she'd take her vitamins but not "those pills they're trying to poison me with".
Why can't they make these medications in the form of a gummy bear? Who says no to a gummy bear? ;-)
So I'm wondering if the caregiver was able to spend the night, and how things are going at your mother's house?
My Mom had shooed the Caregiver out after 3 days, and it was a gal who is usually really good with difficult clients. Mom is now in long-term-care.