Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
It sounds to me like you may actually need some professional help on this one, and you may actually have to turn to the adult protective services in your area to see what you can do if anything. The adult protective services specializes in elder matters, and they can advise you what to do. One thing that you may have to do is either become POA or even a guardian. There were actually two elderly people in my neighborhood who had the adult protective services intervene, and some matters were resolved when family just wasn't there or could not take care of the matter themselves. I strongly suggest turning for help from the pros who deal with stuff like this every day. They really are of great help.
Sounds like your mother is channeling her anger at you. There may come a time when she'll be more reliant, as she gradually needs more help, but apparently right now she's in an denial and adjustment phase and resisting acceptance of her new situation. I can't blame her - it must be frightening to have the limitations of health suddenly become an unwanted daily companion.
I honestly don't know what to suggest as your mother may need time to accept that her limitations aren't life threatening now, or I assume they're not. Was she left with any permanent issues from the stroke?
In my area one of the local hospitals sponsors a stroke support group. I believe that there are medical speakers as well as sessions in which participants share experiences and coping mechanisms. It might help your mother, but if she doesn't go, perhaps you could to see if you could get any ideas from someone who might have faced the same situation.
Other than that, I don't know of any way to force your mother to take her pills, especially if she knows that not taking them will shorten her life. But it could get worse along the way if she DOESN'T take them.
For your father, there are blister packs in which one pill is dispensed at a time, but I think it can also be confusing as to how many and what need to be taken unless individual pills can be aggregated together for each different morning, lunch, supper and bedtime grouping.
There's another thread from a similar issue raised a few weeks or so ago.
There are some good suggestions there that might work for your father. My father found a color coded chart helpful for him. That might work for your father - color code the medicine boxes to match the chart, with instructions on when to take them. But do you think he could follow something like this?
I'm wondering also if your mother would be willing to help him with his meds? She may choose not to take hers, but your father does have his own right and privilege to make his own decisions.
Alternately, are there any relatives, friends and/or neighbors you trust who could help him select the right meds while you're gone? Alternately, if you divide them into ones for each time of day, and again color code them, you could call him 3x daily to remind him. But that doesn't seem like a very efficient way of handling the issue.
Perhaps others can be of more help. I would be concerned too if I were in your position.
Garden Artist, Yes, mom has dementia issues and had a stroke in May. It is sad to see her, she will never be the same. She always is angry when I come over, she said she doesn't want me in her home. I did try the pill box for my mom, that didn't help. She just wants to die basically. She doesn't like not being who she use to be. Dad is just old, and has always been taken care of. He has a hip problem, but due to allergies and other meds is limited. He has problems walking. I did have a 4 section pill box for him also, I think they are very confusing. Thank you for your help.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I honestly don't know what to suggest as your mother may need time to accept that her limitations aren't life threatening now, or I assume they're not. Was she left with any permanent issues from the stroke?
In my area one of the local hospitals sponsors a stroke support group. I believe that there are medical speakers as well as sessions in which participants share experiences and coping mechanisms. It might help your mother, but if she doesn't go, perhaps you could to see if you could get any ideas from someone who might have faced the same situation.
Other than that, I don't know of any way to force your mother to take her pills, especially if she knows that not taking them will shorten her life. But it could get worse along the way if she DOESN'T take them.
For your father, there are blister packs in which one pill is dispensed at a time, but I think it can also be confusing as to how many and what need to be taken unless individual pills can be aggregated together for each different morning, lunch, supper and bedtime grouping.
There's another thread from a similar issue raised a few weeks or so ago.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/good-way-to-keep-medications-organized-183986.htm
There are some good suggestions there that might work for your father. My father found a color coded chart helpful for him. That might work for your father - color code the medicine boxes to match the chart, with instructions on when to take them. But do you think he could follow something like this?
I'm wondering also if your mother would be willing to help him with his meds? She may choose not to take hers, but your father does have his own right and privilege to make his own decisions.
Alternately, are there any relatives, friends and/or neighbors you trust who could help him select the right meds while you're gone? Alternately, if you divide them into ones for each time of day, and again color code them, you could call him 3x daily to remind him. But that doesn't seem like a very efficient way of handling the issue.
Perhaps others can be of more help. I would be concerned too if I were in your position.
I did try the pill box for my mom, that didn't help. She just wants to die basically. She doesn't like not being who she use to be.
Dad is just old, and has always been taken care of. He has a hip problem, but due to allergies and other meds is limited. He has problems walking.
I did have a 4 section pill box for him also, I think they are very confusing.
Thank you for your help.
Why doesn't your mother want to take meds? Is it because she has a philosophical aversion to meds and/or prefers natural remedies?
What issues would concern meds for your father? Could he benefit from one of the little pill boxes divided into 3 or 4 sections for time of day?
Do either or both of them have any dementia issues that complicate remembering to take meds?