I had a sitdown with my brother tonight. My brother told me something that I wasn't really aware of. Mom's refuses to go back to physical therapy and to see her orthopedic surgeon. My brother use to leave work early for the past few months to take her to her physical therapy sessions. Her orthopedic surgeon actually owns the facility. Back in May, my mom stopped going to physical therapy.. Mom always had told me because Medicare had stopped paying for it. I remembered her surgeon had written a new order for her to continue the physical therapy. I had asked her few months back does the doctor wanted to continue to see you. She said he has never mentioned it to me so I don't bother to ask. She said, that he told her that he did what he could to repair her broken hip. I was working for the past few months at a temp job for a local government agency, hence my brother had taken her to PT and surgeon appointments because I couldn't get off work to do so. My brother said to me that mom told him that she doesn't want to go back to PT because it didn't do her any good. She had broken her hip last fall. She is still wheelchair bound, has multiple health issues which makes it difficult for her to move (Osteoporosis, arthritis, diabetic nerve pain, and yes Obesity) I am sure the doctor knows what he is doing regarding ordering PT sessions. I understand that her weight makes it difficult to do any type of exercises. I told my brother that she told me that he didn't want him to be in trouble for taking off work to take her to PT. My brother says he is fed up with her attitude and he is not going to say anything anymore. I don't blame him. I sometimes think that she is not trying hard enough to improve. I sometimes look at mom with resentment and disgust every time I see her in that wheelchair. I am that is very cruel thing to say and think. Yes she won't be the same physically she is 75 yrs old with health issues. She has become a burden. What should I do? HELP!
I wish your Mom wanted to get better, but having been through this with my own mother, there's basically nothing you can do to force her. We even tried putting her in a rehab center for PT, and if she just wanted to sit in her wheelchair and go through the motions, they allowed it for as long as Medicare would pay. She didn't improve, so they sent her home.
Hate to tell you, but some people really WANT to be invalids. They WANT others to wait on them and take care of them. I'm sorry your mom has done this at age 75. Most of the 75-year-olds I know are traveling the world enjoying life. My Mom waited to give up until she was 80, but we have spent the last 10 years taking care of her because she CHOOSES to be an invalid.
I know some people will tell you to get her on anti-depressants, and they may help. I found they helped ME a lot more than Mom, since she did this to herself willfully. She refuses to do PT. She refuses to take the meds for some of her medical conditions. She refuses to let us bathe her sometimes. And she will probably live for another 10 years. But she doesn't want to get better.