My mom is seventy-one years old she has some type of dementia or Alzheimer’s, and she has walking issues, and extreme OCD. She wants to smoke numerous cigarettes in a day. My dad has been controlling her smoking for the last few years. Ideally he wants only wants to give her four a day. I feel she should be allowed to have more like ten or so. I try to sneak her cigarettes when I can. I am a cigarette smoker my dad is not. I feel she should be able to smoke when she want to.my thoughts are she not going to get any better, so let her enjoy her cigarettes if makes her happy.
Dave
What is your role in Mom's care? If Dad is her primary caregiver, I think sneaking behind his back and undermining his authority may not be in his or your mother's best interest. Perhaps that isn't the case -- but give it some thought.
Do the cigarettes make her happy? Would something else make her equally happy? Could you discuss your point of view with Dad, and perhaps come up with a compromise, or at least understand each other's views. What are Dad's reasons for wanting to limit the smoking?
As Jessie says, if she eventually need to be in a care center, she may not be allowed to smoke at all. I'm not sure whether that is an argument in favor of letting her smoke all she wants when she can, or an argument in favor of cutting down to reduce withdrawal problems if she has to stop.
I don't see clear-cut answers here about the smoking, but I wish you and Dad could be more open with each other.