Today on the bus was a mentally exhausting exercise. I take her from the house to the bus stop, constantly “oh my feet hurt! Oh I’m cold! Oh I’m tired” moan moan moan.
Then we get on the bus. 5 minutes in. “Are we there yet? Why is this taking so long? Where are we now?” Another 5 minutes later “Are we there now? Where are we now?” And this goes on until we get to our location.
When we get to our location it doesn’t stop, shopping is stressful. And then we have to take the bus back.
This is a small example but sometimes it feels like carting a toddler around and I get so mentally exhausted that I can barely answer her questions. I just sit there numb and unable to think straight. All the while she is still going on and on and getting annoyed when I don’t answer.
ALSO: in shops, sometimes I’m so exhausted that I can be a bit snappy in my answers because I have put up with it all day. Sometimes shop staff give me looks like “be nicer to this elderly lady” and I get SO angry.
How do I cope? I feel bad but I can’t help it. I sit in the toilet for a few moments to myself to think straight.
We now give her 1/2 anxiety pill and it really helps. She actually seems to enjoy the whole outing then. You might ask her doctor about it. Since you are on a bus I think I would try it at home first. Take a walk with her and see how she does.
Heres another tip.
You take the other half of the pill.
It’s human to get irritated. Parents get annoyed with their children when they do that, but it’s much more difficult when it’s your parent who is an adult. It gets frustrating, but it’s also awkward, which makes it worse.
By the way, I stopped taking her shopping early on.
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How old is Mom. Does she have Dementia? If she does, this will cause the constant talking like a 2 yr old. And since reasoning is the first ability they lose, you probably won't get her to stop. Like a toddler, I didn't pay attention. I think they just talk and say whatever comes into their mind. Just a yes, hmmm, every so often may help.
Secondly...all I can do is virtually wrap my arms around you!! Over the past few years my mom’s (81) paranoia has gone thru the roof. She recently fell and fractured a lower lumbar vertebrae and I have been constant caregiver. I sometimes feel like I’m losing my mind and find myself yelling at her like a child. I am grateful to have a separate area of the house to escape to for a few hours.
Medications can often have an adverse effect, but my mom finds some relief with a low dose of Xanax sometimes.
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