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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Is this something new? Is she recently widowed? When my dad died mom found it helpful to sleep with a big pillow on his side of the bed so she didn't feel that empty space in her sleep. It also helped to have new locks put on all the doors. If that isn't the problem then I suggest you treat it the same way you would with a small child. Try to figure out exactly what it is she fears and address the issue. If you can't pinpoint it or reassure her then leave on a nightlight and make sure she knows she can contact you easily (use a baby monitor or an alarm pendant depending on your living arrangements). And lots of older folks like to have a teddy bear or other friend to keep them company at night, my mom has one :)
The nightlight is a good suggestion. Also, a stuffed animal may be comforting. Start out with you and the stuffed animal, and as she gets used to having it around, absent yourself once she's asleep. Maybe she will eventually need only the toy.
When I was a young mother in my 20's my husband was transferred to the midnight shift. I was afraid alone at night. I heard every noise outside, even trees brushing against the house. This was 1969 and my husband bought a small tv for the bedroom. I would watch tv and fall asleep. We put a timer on it so it didn't stay on all night. It worked for me. In fact I'm 67 now and have been a widow since 1984. I still have to have the tv on at night. I know the situation is different, but, my point is a distraction may help. Or even a radio.
Regarding bedrails- this discussion often comes up with the people I work with. Over the last 30 years several hundred people have died or been injured with "bedrails" but it is impossible to count the thousands of injuries/lives they may have saved over those years. Part of the problem is there are no safety standards for home bedrails- the best example was one I saw on the internet- "rated for 250#" it had a shipping weight of 2.5#- how is that possible? Be careful of the cheap wobbly items on the market. In most cases a person doesn't roll out of bed during sleeping- the fall occurs during the process of getting in/out of bed. Having rails that are sturdy enough to aid in repositioning and to lean on in bed transfers is what a person should be considering. Very happy to get involved in any mobility related discussions.
oh the poor woman. I also give my Mom 3mg of melatonin or half of that and sometimes she sleeps much better. I stay and hold her hand, rub her head and tell her stories of what a great cook she is (was) and the best mother, etc, She loves it, smiles and falls asleep. Its just like a baby but no tough love here, they need you. We all want someone when we dont feel well, or are afraid, its human nature.
I used to work nights and sleep days, then I moved to a house on a busy street where I switched to workings days. I had a fan between me and the street, the noise masked the outside sounds. You can also purchase a noisemaker that sounds like a fan without the breeze. It really helped me.
My mom does not want to be alone either. She is especially attached to me & gets upset if I am away overnight on occasion in spite of another sister or niece staying with her. Anti anxiety meds seem to make her mind be fuzzier than usual the next day. She thinks people on TV can see her & is asking to turn TV off at times. She is in a hospital bed in her living room & for last year I have slept on sofa. There is less anxiety for both of us doing it this way! I hope you find what will keep you both safe & happy. Someone suggested Melotolin and I plan to give that a try. I used to get upset & frustrated quite a bit over being 24/7 caretaker but found once I surrendered to the situation I am handling it all much better. I pray you find your answer! This web site has been valuable to me.
a lot of good suggestions but another one is don't just jump to giving drugs to calm/help sleep, this could create another whole issue. what if she falls due to being too groggy, I would try something more natural like melatonin or the music. and pets are nice but is she capable of taking care of them (feeding, changing litter box or letting animal out to go (and then would she remember to bring them in, is the yard fenced in so they can't get out).
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
When my dad died mom found it helpful to sleep with a big pillow on his side of the bed so she didn't feel that empty space in her sleep. It also helped to have new locks put on all the doors.
If that isn't the problem then I suggest you treat it the same way you would with a small child. Try to figure out exactly what it is she fears and address the issue. If you can't pinpoint it or reassure her then leave on a nightlight and make sure she knows she can contact you easily (use a baby monitor or an alarm pendant depending on your living arrangements). And lots of older folks like to have a teddy bear or other friend to keep them company at night, my mom has one :)
I know the situation is different, but, my point is a distraction may help. Or even a radio.
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