Lately I have been wondering if she hides things to get me to look for them and forgets where she puts them. She has also been bad mouthing me to my cousins. None of her affairs are in order. My brother has washed his hands of us but he is the wonderful son even though he has seen her once in the past 5 years. Is there anyone who can give me advice? Things have been going downhill fast and I have no support
- her perception of your brother as the "golden boy" even though he does not help is typical of a parent with narcissism.
- your bro who has washed his hands pf his family so you have no family support
You are not alone -a number of us have similar problems and get our support from here and possibly other similar places.
Your mother needs an evaluation re dementia by a geriatric psychiatrist or similar professional because of the accusations. If she is diagnosed with dementia there are drugs which can help somewhat. Some of it you have to cope with by learning about dementia - reading materials on dementia and reading threads here and other materials on line or in books, joining a support group.
You need to get POA medical and financial if she is still competent enough to sign them. Providing more info will help people to respond.
Long term planning is a good idea. If she is with you do you think you can cope with 24/7 care, which she will likely need eventually, or would it be better for her to be placed? Medicaid does covers costs for care if she does not have the resources. Is your husband supportive? Could he cope with 24/7 care and so on.
Hope you comer back and let us know more about your situation. It is so confusing at the start when they begin to do this and getting the right resources in place can be tricky. (((((((hugs)))))
You need to get her seen by a good doctor who understands dementia and how to help you all cope with it, if that's what your mom has. And you need to educate yourself and your family about dementia and how it operates. But do tell us more about your situation, so we can give you better advice.
Can you provide a little background? Are you your mother's caregiver? Do you live together? Her home or yours? What are her impairments that require caregiving?
How long has this "misplacing" things been going on?
Is the badmouthing behavior new?
How recently has she seen a doctor? What kind of doctor?
The caregivers on this site are dealing with a huge range of situations and behaviors. If you provide a little more specific information you are more likely to get specific advice.
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