I really don't know how to handle this situation anymore. My 83 mother for many years has not cared one bit about my 41 year old son. Its been this way since the day he was born. I do believe the reason is -my baby brother-her golden child was only nine at the time. Our daughter is older and never got this treatment. She also has 7 other grandchildren-three that happen to be grandsons. through the years she basically always remembered him at Christmas and his birthday. As he got older, she got more irritated cause he didn't call her and thank her. My son is rather independent and hasn't had much involvement with any family members. Doesn't mean he doesn't love them-he just always felt like an out case in part because of his grandma. She never got by with this treatment when my dad was alive but since he passed away she has decided no more remembering him at Christmas. Oh maybe she has a good reason -the problem I have is that I think its her excuse. She don't have much communication with any of her grandkids unless at a family gathering. But my biggest complaint is that its very obvious she could care less about him. My son just don't care anymore. But I do-she don't even ask about him the few times I talk to her. I am at a point in my life that this is really bugging me but not sure I should even go there with her. What does everyone think-should I confront her or let it go. There is going to be wedding in the family next July and I would really like to settle this in my mind once and for all. Thanks a bunch for any advice you can give me
...being as HOW (not being as HELL)
... too late, BUT you want to make sure (not WHAT you want)
And now it's really bothering you and I'm betting somewhere deep inside it's bothering him too. But at 83, is your mom and the verge of dementia? If so, it won't do much good to confront her. If not, a stern talk MAY help but what is your leverage if she doesn't care. Are you prepared to turn your back and walk away, something you were never prepared to do earlier? It's a pitiful situation and I don't envy you your dilemma.
Maybe some soul searching on your part followed by a heartfelt conversation with your son, explaining how maybe you now see things you should have done differently but its too late, what you want to make sure that this doesn't carry true to the next generation, and the one after that.