Visiting her old house if for no other reason than to look around. I believe my mother is looking for normalcy after moving into AL. A visit to her house with her a few months ago was a complete disaster... Crying, yelling, and a determination to move herself back. I had to drag her out of the house. My mother was diagnosed with Major Neurocognitive Disorder (Dimentia) possibly due to Alzheimer disease, so her short term memory is not good. I always try redirection, but, she is fixated on getting to the house. (she does not even remember the last visit.) Everyone tells me, it is NOT a good idea to take her to the house for a visit. It will only reinforce her the idea that she can take care of herself. Have you experienced this? (house went through an estate sale w/o her knowledge and up for sale next week.) Can't afford to keep it. Talk about guilt... Is this the norm?
When my Mom was in long-term-care, she wanted to go "home" but for her I realized "home" meant her childhood home in another State. I would say "maybe tomorrow" and that would settle her down, until the next day.
The second time, mom said she just wanted to drive by. Then she asked sis to stop. Immediately mom exited the car and a verbal battle ensued. More crying, more anxiety, more depression. Don't do it.
But on topic, I agree with everyone. Not a good idea to go back to the old house. My dad's house (our childhood home) was on the market and staged and I could not get it into his head that it wasn't his house anymore. I think he figured that if it was empty and still standing it was his. He insisted on moving back in. He thought it was great that it was staged! He wouldn't have to go out and buy more furniture! So I finally get him off of the moving back in thing and he states, "Then I'll just pitch a tent and live in the backyard!"
It was a side of my dad I had never seen before and he didn't even have dementia but he was completely irrational when it came to this house. I hadn't found this website at this point in my dad's life so I didn't know that elderly people could get like this. I just thought he was going crazy.
So make your person very comfortable in the here and now, and that will distract them from asking questions.
See All Answers