Had in laws move in with us 13 years ago.
Father in law got ill and we had home hospice for 10 mos. 8 years ago. Nightmare. I became ill from it. Mother in law, now 93, recently fell and broke hip bone.
Prior, she had mobility issues, small falls and became increasingly incontinent, and increasingly very dependant.
Now she is in rehab, and totally incontinent and we found out she had fractured ribs in prior fall at home.
Dr. has advised there will be additional falls, and she should not be left alone.
I am disabled- survived 2 cancers, major back surgery, shoulder surgery, cataract surgery. I have glaucoma, fibromyalgia, allydonia, migraines, asthma, arthritis, and the list goes on. We also have 2 dogs at home.
I cannot see having a multitude of home care aides coming and going again, with me as her main "aide". Husband travels for work, brother in law too. Do I cut bait and leave for my own health and sanity? Or am I just inhumane?
I can totally understand why you feel bad about saying no, but sometimes it's the right decision.
If you r contemplating leaving, then I am assuming that DH is not sympathetic to your health problems? Do you have your own money where leaving is an option, someone to live with? In the end, if thats what you need to do for your own health and sanity, do it. Husband will just have to take on the responsibility and figure it all out. He may appreciate what you have been doing.
Why do you think that you need to leave your home?