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KeepingUp, I am sorry to say that my thoughts about your mother are not repeatable in polite society. And you are a very polite and very kind person: it wouldn't help you to hear them.

I am a conservative-minded respecter of wills. If your mother wanted to be an out-and-out [word], then in my view that was her right. But the law, in recent years, has not been as inflexible on this point as it used to be; and your mother didn't take thorough enough pains with her cruelty. We don't know what her intentions towards you were. She didn't trouble herself to say.

Don't go to court. You haven't the stomach for it, the stress would do your MS no favours at all, and anyway it's too much of a gamble.

But without even forming that intention, you do have a case and your representative could use that to come to terms with your sister. You wouldn't even have to be involved.

It actually isn't about the money. It's about recognition of a wrong done to you that can be partially put right, if your sister chooses. You can still leave it up to her: you don't have to instruct your lawyer to pursue it beyond a certain point, which would be putting a proposal to her and suggesting she consider it for reasons X, Y and Z.

The thing is. Your sister's blithely saying "this is what mom wanted" really isn't good enough. What your sister is saying is that "mother treated you extraordinarily badly and in tribute to her I am going to do the same."

But your sister is under no obligation to do that. Your mother could do what she wished with her money. So can your sister. I think it might be worth suggesting to her enlightened self-interest that she consider the justice of the thing, and that you let a lawyer do that for you.
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Some people here have spoken of the cruelty of the mother. I don't think we have to conclude that she was cruel. She might have made these arrangements a long time ago, befoe she became dependent on keepingup. She might have been unduly influenced by the other daughter. Some people let themselves get pushed into doing unfair things to another because they just don't like the conflict. A lawyer may be able to help keepingup get something from her mother's estate, let us hope so.
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Countrymouse Nov 2018
It's a very long story, M.

I can't imagine KeepingUp's mother ever having been pushed around by *anybody*. Normally I would rather admire that.
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Not suggesting a fight. But please do put this into the hands of a trustworthy lawyer, then sit back and let whatever comes of it come of it.

I happen to agree with your sister that the sooner that house is shut up and sold off the better. In my personal view, you too can't be got clear of the past fast enough. But is it where you are currently living?
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SueC1957 Nov 2018
previous post-page 2

"keepingup
Nov 1, 2018
Thank you so much. I have lived in this home all my life and love it...."
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I am sorry. This is so wrong. You definitely have grounds if in the U.S. Please
see a lawyer immediately. Everything that I have read states that you must be named as disinherited because otherwise means carelessness by the attorney who wrote the will or trust. This also explains the attorney's confusion about who you were. https://www.cnbc.com/id/100424947 https://www.lexisnexis.com/legalnewsroom/estate-elder/b/estate-elder-blog/posts/can-you-disinherit-an-adult-child
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