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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
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Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Hi Pricels, I am dealing with some of the same issues with my husband whose heatlh is deteriorating. He is in severe pain, on oxygen; uses a walker and continues to smoke and drink. I have been going to Al Anon and have found it helpful in helping me to understand the situation and how to set limits to take care of myself and love and accept my husband.
Hi Pricels, I feel your pain my mother at the moment is popping pills and drinking. Because of previous back surgery she is hooked on painkillers now I administer the prescribed ones but she has gone underground and gets them from another source. We have tried to get help but she cannot be forced and also the doctors are reluctant to get involved further. I realise how depressed she is and I also realise she is an addict but sometimes it is really difficult to show empathy when all she cares about is when her medication is coming or who is getting her wine. I find it helpful when I speak to someone and also to do something for myself so that I do not become burnt out and also I have also to think of my children who needs their own mother to be centred on them not her mother.
Hi Pricels: I heartily agree with Braida. My mom was living with me like that, without the pills, and there was nothing I could do but get a part time caregiver, pray, and try to keep her happy and myself sane. She was on oxygen and would disconnect herself and come into the living room so she could smoke and have a drink. Neither were at her disposal. The doctor's prognosis was that she wouldn't be here much longer. She was gone in two months. I have always felt badly for letting her have these toxic cigarettes and vodka, but what would the withdrawals have done to her? She died at 71 years of age.
Hi Pricels, It sounds like your Mom is an alcoholic/pill popper, and if this is the case and has been going on for awhile, you can't simply "take the stuff away" from her without her going into serious withdrawal. It's rather a complex situation. I've dealt with both alcoholics and pill addicts. If they want to do it, and are not legally declared mentally incompetent, your hands are pretty much tied. It's extremely difficult to see a loved one commit slow suicide like that, but it is tricky to get them off the stuff. She may have to detox in a supervised facility first. If she's unwilling, you may have to get the courts involved to find her mentally incompetent so that someone else can make the decisions for her welfare. Best of luck to you, Pricels. I can identify with what you're going through. :(
I agree strongly with Lilliput on this-----all meds and alcohol need to be in a safe place where your Mom cannot get at them-as they 2 do not mix. To me it sounds like a strong case of depression-along with other (possibly) health issues involved. I think it is a good idea to have your Mom evaluated..and ASAP....and take matters from there. Please let us know how you make out-and good luck! Hap
pricels: we need a little more information. How is your Mom's overall health? How does she get access to "pills and alcohol?" Who is her caregiver now and does she live in her own home or yours? Generally, if she is deemed competent, you cannot force her into assisted living if she does not want to go. Have you considered in-home caregivers to give you respite? Also, when is the last time your Mom was evaluated and given a physical?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I am dealing with some of the same issues with my husband whose heatlh is deteriorating. He is in severe pain, on oxygen; uses a walker and continues to smoke and drink. I have been going to Al Anon and have found it helpful in helping me to understand the situation and how to set limits to take care of myself and love and accept my husband.
It sounds like your Mom is an alcoholic/pill popper, and if this is the case and has been going on for awhile, you can't simply "take the stuff away" from her without her going into serious withdrawal. It's rather a complex situation. I've dealt with both alcoholics and pill addicts. If they want to do it, and are not legally declared mentally incompetent, your hands are pretty much tied. It's extremely difficult to see a loved one commit slow suicide like that, but it is tricky to get them off the stuff. She may have to detox in a supervised facility first. If she's unwilling, you may have to get the courts involved to find her mentally incompetent so that someone else can make the decisions for her welfare.
Best of luck to you, Pricels. I can identify with what you're going through. :(
To me it sounds like a strong case of depression-along with other (possibly) health issues involved. I think it is a good idea to have your Mom evaluated..and ASAP....and take matters from there.
Please let us know how you make out-and good luck!
Hap
Generally, if she is deemed competent, you cannot force her into assisted living if she does not want to go. Have you considered in-home caregivers to give you respite? Also, when is the last time your Mom was evaluated and given a physical?