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He has been kicked out of two bar/restaurant because he smell so bad. He drives, and still independent, with dementia becoming increasingly more pronounced. We want to get him into a nursing home, he’s reluctant, and we need to sell his house to help sustain the costs. Can’t sell the house with him there, as we need a professional company to thoroughly clean and sanitize. He lives in California, we live in Minnesota. Have tried working with his doctors, social workers, who are not making recommendations for senior living? He had a needed surgery cancelled because he couldn’t be in his home for aftercare, doctors were concerned about infection? Needless to say, we’re looking for suggestions:1. How to get him into a nursing home with limited income? Yes, he has Medicare 2. recommendations on quick sale of this house, with no out of pocket expenses?

I am not an expert in the area, but I believe others have written that sale of one's house is not required to obtain Medicaid. Rather, a lien would be placed on the home and it would be sold after his death. However, even if that is true, it probably would make sense to have the house cleaned (from his funds) and sold now. Usually the reason for not selling the house is that one's spouse is still living there, and that reason does not apply in this situation.
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Reply to Igloocar
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Like Geaton777 and you, I am in MN. My disabled sister just died in November in CA, so I have looked into their laws, systems, and requirements for both POAs and conservatorships (what they call guardianships). I strongly suggest you do *neither*. Not ever. From this distance it is nearly impossible to meet their requirements, and likely extremely expensive to you.
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Reply to Goddatter
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Contact APS and report a "vulnerable senior"
The follow up investigation should help.
If someone in the family has POA that person can begin the process of placing him and making arrangements to clean and sell the house.
If no one is POA you have 2 options.
With the APS investigation they will realize that a Guardian is needed. The Court can appoint a Guardian or a family member could be appointed.
(Ideally if he had had the surgery he could have gone to rehab then it might have been easier to "morph" that into Skilled Nursing or Long Term Care.
Does he have Medicaid? If not begin the process of getting him on Medicaid.
Is he a Veteran? If so contact the local Veterans Assistance Commission or his States Department of Veterans Affairs. You could also contact the VA and ask to talk to a Patient Advocate or a Social Worker.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Call APS.
Let him become a ward of the state .
This is a monumental task for a number of reasons . I honestly believe it’s best handled by the state.
You have no power to place him , he’s uncooperative . You have no easy way to sell his home to pay for his care either .
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Reply to waytomisery
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You say he has dementia. Get those car keys away from him before he kills someone. Then worry about the rest.
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Reply to Hothouseflower
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I would say that he needs the guardianship of the state for placement.
I would guess that the only thing you can do is to report him to APS.
The sad truth is that if he is competent, this being now a diagnosed mental condition, he will be allowed to stay and to die in his hoard. This is perhaps something that he would prefer to living a few more years in in-facility care?
You can consider reporting the squalor to the city. I wouldn't know what department you would contact, but calling the local council on aging in the area might get you the number.

This is so very sad, isn't it. I see you care. But there is quite honestly nothing I can imagine you can do to change this. Not everything can be fixed.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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I'm in MN, too, and am a PoA for a 105-yr old Aunt in south FL. The only way I can manage her care from that distance is because I have 2 reliable family caregivers with her daily (one is paid). I go down there at least once a year (and now more frequently) to make sure things get done because I'm the PoA.

All this to say that you won't be able to get much done from that distance. You or a family member will need to go spend at least 1 or 2 weeks there to help him. In the end, if no one is his PoA, then this situation won't be manageable because no one has legal authority to make him pay for his care, access his bank account, etc. You will need to report him to APS and keep reporting him.

Medicare doesn't pay for custodial care (no IL, AL or MC) -- only LTC -- which means he needs daily medical care, not just custodial care. And, he has to both financially and medically qualify. If he does, then Medicaid pays for his medical needs and his SS pays for his custodial care (room and board).

If he has no PoA and is not legally competent or willing to assign someone, then APS will put him on a track to get a court-assigned legal guardian who will then get him into a facility and sell his house. Family will no longer have any access to anything of his (not his assets, house, car, etc). But this is still a solution for him and peace of mind for your family, if you accept it as such.

"...recommendations on quick sale of this house, with no out of pocket expenses?"

No such a thing exists. No one will buy a hoarder's house "as is" or work to sell it for free. You should check to see if he owes back property taxes on it. It may be on its way to being a condemned property by the city. Does he own it outright? Or is there still a mortgage on it?

Please just call APS.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Don’t talk to a person with dementia about moving to a managed care setting or anything else requiring logical decision making as dementia takes away the ability to make sound choices and have good judgment. Call the local Adult Protective Services in his area and report the situation. This isn’t a situation you can handle long distance. Chances are, he will need to go to hospital first for his medical needs and a more complete mental evaluation, then to rehab, a social worker will find an appropriate facility, and have him moved directly. His home can be cleaned and sold to pay for his care until the funds run out and then Medicaid will pay. Hope someone has POA for medical and financial decisions as the time for this is upon the family. Wishing you the best in navigating this
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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