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This is one hill I will die on--the selfishness of elders who feel like they have the 'right' to drive, no matter what, and don't even stop to think the lives they impact with their terrible driving.

Mom gave up driving pretty easily--but not before she had seriously dented all 4 fenders of her little car. At the end, she was seeing the road between the 'spokes' of the steering wheel. My last trip with her at the wheel had me shaking in my boots.

Luckily--after her hip replacement, she never regained the strength necessary to even push the gas pedal. Plus YB made her show him how she was going to get her walker in the car, get HER in the car and safely back out of the garage.

She couldn't even get the walker in the car. And she HAD to walk with that.

She did reluctantly release the keys and gave us no pushback.

36 years ago, we had just bought out first brand new car--a Chevy Astro van which was such a joy after having cars too small to comfortably fit our family.

On our FIRST longer trip in this van, we were approaching an intersection way out in the middle of nowhere. We could see an elderly man in a sedan sitting at the stop sign. My DH said "This guy is going to pull out in front of me!" and he did, with no looking left nor right. Luckily, the roads were wet, so we hit him HARD, 55 mph and he spun around and around and wound up in a ditch. He had a carload of elderly ladies with him. They could easily all been killed or at least seriously hurt. Our van was huge and heavy, but it still did considerable damage. My kids learned that day the importance of seatbelts!!!

Of course this old gent lost his license, we made sure of that--but what 'could have been' still haunts me to this day.

Driving is a PRIVILEGE. Even if you have to disable mom's car and hide the keys and drain the gas--please, please don't let her drive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will never forget the look on the one lady's face as we hit the car---pure terror.
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Southernwaver Aug 2023
Yup. I know someone who has to sue the man who hit her. His estate actually because although he slammed into her, he died. He was in his 90s. She was injured. It was an unnecessary nightmare for all involved.
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If you don’t stop her from driving, be prepared for a serious accident in which she is hurt or killed. She could also be sued by the family of any person she hurts or kills. Or for property damage she causes. These legal matters can go on for years. She is unlikely to be capable to deal with courts, lawyers, paralegals, trials. All that would probably fall on you. Plus it’s very expensive.

POA is irrelevant.

Contact her doctor, who could test her for various abilities and stop her driving. Possibilities are cognitive issues, vision problems and hearing impairment. Do it before she kills someone.

You’ve already tried to deal with her rationally and she doesn’t understand. Looks like dementia to me.

Good luck.
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