While he is still "with it" most of the time, he experiences "sundowner's" nearly every evening and is growing more and more forgetful and afraid. I live in fear of where this is going, especially since we do not have insurance that will cover long term care. I'm wondering if anyone has suggestions for in-home care and how to access it. I checked on the possibility of receiving compensation as a caregiver but learned that since I live in the same house as my husband, I don't qualify.
We live in a village in New Mexico, so resources are limited. Thank you for anything you can tell me.
Then it's important that you educate yourself about the disease of dementia, so you can be better prepared for what's ahead.
You can either "Google" to find out what kind of help is available in your area(Area Agency of Aging, Senior Services, VA etc.)or as already suggested you can click on the link at the top of this screen that says "find care."
Then I would suggest that you find a local caregiver support group as that will be very helpful for you to be able to share with others who understand exactly what you're feeling and going through.
I'm sorry that you're now on this journey with your husband. It will be hard, no ifs ands or buts, BUT you can do it, because you're stronger than you know.
And if his care gets to be just to much for you, you will have to place him in a memory care facility. And if money is an issue then you'll have to apply for Medicaid.
I wish you the very best as you walk this road with the man you love.
God bless you both.
I suggest you read this 33 page booklet online about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it. Showers are discussed in the booklet as well as lots of Do's and Dont' s for dealing with dementia sufferers.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia. The reviews for her books are phenomenal b/c they are written in plain English & very easy to read/understand. Her writings have been VERY helpful for me.
The full copy of her book is available here:
https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/B09WN439CC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468364&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-2
The 36 Hour Day is another excellent reference type book you should pick up. Amazon has both books.
Alz.org is a great website to access and has an 800 phone number for questions. The line is manned by live people.
In person support groups as well as online support groups are very helpful too,
Teepa Snow is a dementia expert with lots of YouTube videos that are used as training guides for dementia caregivers. Check them out.
Also, take time out to care for yourself and get respite while taking on this huge task. Your life is important too, not just DHs. TWO people's lives get slaughtered when dementia enters the picture, not to mention the rest of the family members 😑
Best of luck to you