He is very unsteady on his feet. He fell in the bathroom the day he came home and we had to call EMS to get him up. He needs to see his primary doctor within the next two weeks. I’m just not sure how I can transport him there and back safely. We barely could get him in and out of the car when we picked him up from rehab. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get him there?
It is way past time for you (and maybe your sisters will join you in this) to say "No, mom, I can't possibly do this any more. I am a senior too. You'll have to make other arrangements."
You've been living there for a MONTH and you feel guilty because you had Thanksgiving dinner with a good friend? Puleese.
You really need to realize that you feel GRIEF that your parents are declining and not GUILT that you haven't prevented that from happening.
I had an aunt to finally had to place uncle. She always thought he'd die if placed. Well, she died of a heart attack shortly after placement. He lived, happy as a clam in a good AL for several more years.
I've just heard similar unfold.. one person 'placed' & the person the main care burden had fallen on then collapsed.
I have to say I gave a lot of similar tough love advice to other posters. I see now it’s very different when it’s your own family. This is very hard, and as I said in the past I wish this slog was over already.
Telling my mom "I can't do this anymore" is the single hardest thing I've ever done.
Let them practice their independence and you practice yours. Say "I can't possibly do that" the next time there is a fall, an illness or a dire need.
If they are of sound mind, they will see that they are only independent with your help.
It sounds as though when rehab was ready to release dad, you should have allowed him and mom to figure out how to get him home and not picked him up. He may have needed to become a LTC resident.
It is fine to provide some scaffolding to our parents as they age. It's NOT okay to lose your own life while doing that.
Hauling someone with high falls risk & poor mobility across town needs to be worth it imho. Not if only a 5 min chat & BP check.
For appointments in person, I second wheelchair transport. You can meet him there. Ensure he or you take whatever walking aide he uses if he needs to walk at all once there.
Through his primary we set up Home Health for speech, OT & PT each week to build up his strength.
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