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How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Your dad sounds perfect to me. Like he is living his life as he chooses. You sound perfect for supporting him in such a loving way. I’m glad he is not on meds. I love the guitar story. If you have time you could wake him earlier and see if it seems to make a difference. Is he interested in sports or family history? It is very interesting to do a little genealogy and talk to him about his parents or grandparents. His school experiences, service etc. The census records for 1910, 1920, 1930 and 1940 are available. My mom wasn’t on meds at 90. A slow heart beat led to a pacemaker, CHF and meds. She had a tough last 2-3 years. She would have preferred your dad’s routine to her own.
Thanks so much for your kind support. My mom also had a difficult and painful final 2 years that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. So I will just continue. He enjoys talking about his past and growing up and I enjoy learning about it like I couldn’t before when I didn’t have the time. He can’t remember yesterday but he vividly remembers many things about his childhood and his young years with mom. Bless you and thanks again for your support.
Thanks for this suggestion. He does live by himself. When I do happen to sleep over, I notice that he is up several times at night to use the washroom and gets right back to 😴. Unlike myself who takes forever to fall asleep again. Thanks again for taking the time to reply.
Dad is 90, he goes to bed at 7 pm each night. Gets up at 6:00 am and basically has an hour of activity in the morning, punctuated by naps.
he is too tired in the afternoon to accomplish more than making his lunch and dinner. The afternoon is also punctuated by naps before he heads to bed shortly after dinner.
Dad does do his bed exercises every morning (post stroke 4 years) but has great difficulty walking any distance now. 5 months ago he was walking 5 blocks to the grocery store.
So, my point is not what time your Dad gets up, it is what can he do and what is his sleep total?
Good answer. If my father does what yours does, I would be happy. Long winter, so when go to his place to I wake him up we talk for a few hours then he watches tv when I go home for dinner at 7 every night. I make his breakfast at 3:30 and feed him dinner at 7pm.Thanks so much for replying ❤️
Is he awake at night or is he sleeping then too? The problem with sleeping too much is that they aren't moving enough, they likely aren't eating enough, they may not be taking their medications as prescribed, all of which will lead to frailty, which will lead to falls and a downward spiral. At 95 he may just be worn out and winding down - I wonder whether he should still be left on his own.
I should have mentioned that he is very stubborn and considers himself a hermit. I agree he is winding down for sure. He decided three years ago that he was done taking medications, including bp pills, blood thinners, etc. He does sleep all night also. Excellent point about necessity to wake up and eat. I am with him every day and he is highly intelligent so for now he is fine on his own.Thanks so much for your thoughtful response. I do appreciate it.
I’m not sure what “age appropriate” pain is. If he takes a Tylenol or other OTC does he stay awake more? I would hate to think he was sleeping because he is trying to avoid pain. Have you spoken with his care team about the pain? A round of physical therapy might make him feel better or help identify where the pain is. A good chiropractor or a massage could possibly help. There is a catch 22 with sleep. You can have too much or too little. Too much seems to make one groggy. If he has company is he able to wake up and visit or does he nod off? Is there a lot of confusion, children playing, loud tv etc in the home? Sometimes noise or too much activity can cause anxiety and a need to escape. Oh I see he lives alone. So it’s not that. Boredom? Give him a hug from me. I’ve lost all my old uncles and my dad who were in his age group. Happy Memorial Day!
Definitely boredom and loneliness. He takes no medicine, refused to go to a doctor and we do not have a care team. He will not take pain pills and even unplugs a heating pad when I put it on his back. (too much hydro) He sounds grumpy but he is the not at all. He never ever complains so who knows what his pain is. Everyone loves him and makes a big fuss over him ( almost embarrassingly so). Having said that, his friends have passed away and he seldom has visitors. I am there every day for a few hours. We talk and talk and talk. He would never do physio. But he started taking guitar lessons last Oct and that is one way I can get him out of the house once a week. He does like to walk (unassisted) and we walk around the block when weather is good. Thanks very much for your suggestions. He should get care but he would never let anyone bathe him or dress him because he can do it himself.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If you have time you could wake him earlier and see if it seems to make a difference.
Is he interested in sports or family history? It is very interesting to do a little genealogy and talk to him about his parents or grandparents. His school experiences, service etc. The census records for 1910, 1920, 1930 and 1940 are available.
My mom wasn’t on meds at 90. A slow heart beat led to a pacemaker, CHF and meds. She had a tough last 2-3 years. She would have preferred your dad’s routine to her own.
Thanks again for taking the time to reply.
he is too tired in the afternoon to accomplish more than making his lunch and dinner. The afternoon is also punctuated by naps before he heads to bed shortly after dinner.
Dad does do his bed exercises every morning (post stroke 4 years) but has great difficulty walking any distance now. 5 months ago he was walking 5 blocks to the grocery store.
So, my point is not what time your Dad gets up, it is what can he do and what is his sleep total?
He does sleep all night also. Excellent point about necessity to wake up and eat. I am with him every day and he is highly intelligent so for now he is fine on his own.Thanks so much for your thoughtful response. I do appreciate it.
A round of physical therapy might make him feel better or help identify where the pain is. A good chiropractor or a massage could possibly help.
There is a catch 22 with sleep. You can have too much or too little. Too much seems to make one groggy.
If he has company is he able to wake up and visit or does he nod off?
Is there a lot of confusion, children playing, loud tv etc in the home? Sometimes noise or too much activity can cause anxiety and a need to escape. Oh I see he lives alone. So it’s not that. Boredom?
Give him a hug from me. I’ve lost all my old uncles and my dad who were in his age group. Happy Memorial Day!
He sounds grumpy but he is the not at all. He never ever complains so who knows what his pain is. Everyone loves him and makes a big fuss over him ( almost embarrassingly so). Having said that, his friends have passed away and he seldom has visitors. I am there every day for a few hours. We talk and talk and talk. He would never do physio. But he started taking guitar lessons last Oct and that is one way I can get him out of the house once a week. He does like to walk (unassisted) and we walk around the block when weather is good. Thanks very much for your suggestions. He should get care but he would never let anyone bathe him or dress him because he can do it himself.