Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I don’t know if I’m posting this in the right place. My aunt (about 70, widowed) and cousin (her daughter, about 45) live in the house she inherited from my grandfather about twenty years ago. My aunt is my dad’s sister. Dad passed in 2018, but there are still 2 other brothers. Last time I saw my aunt was about a year and half ago at my Moms funeral. Last time I had been to their house was a month or two before that. The house was scruffy, dilapidated and messy, but still livable. At the time, my aunt had bad knees and back but could get around OK with her walker. My cousin is way overweight but could still get around just fine. My aunt is a little absent minded (always has been) but basically sharp and with it. My cousin is… how to put this… A bit off? She’s quite intelligent but has a lot of depression and doesn’t take care of things unless she’s reminded. Self-absorbed I s’pose. She does work, though. Together they did OK. Recently, I got a call from my cousin, asking if I could help her pick up her mom from rehab. I didn’t know she’d been in hospital- she’d had a bad flu/ fever. Sure, no problem. Last weekend I went and picked up my cousin and drove to the rehab center. I figured my aunt would be back up on her walker and be her usual smiling silly self. It turned out she was still in pretty sad shape. She can’t put any weight on her knees. The nurses had to pick her up and sit her in my car. When we got back to her house. I had to use the bear hug method to hoist her up out of the car and into her wheelchair. I’m a pretty big dude, but it was still quite a job as she really couldn’t help at all with her legs. I have a feeling they sent her home because Medicare/Medicaid won’t pay for any more, but I didn’t ask. I also had to help my cousin up the porch stairs. She says she is now having trouble with her knees. I don’t know how she’s gonna help her mom get in and out of bed, bathroom, etc. The worst is the state of the house. My cousin has completely let it go. Trash and dirt everywhere and dishes piled up. One room so completely piled full of trash and God knows what that you can’t even see into it. Smells like dog whizz. Bad. I’m not blaming the dog. She’s a sweet little dog and they have a fenced in back yard, but my cousin can’t seem to be bothered to let her out often enough. There was a recent looking Visiting Angels folder on top of one pile, so I asked if they had someone coming to help. They said no, but my cousin said she was going to call about it again “this week”. Uh-huh. I wouldn’t blame any kind of visiting nurse for not wanting to work in that house anyway. I feel sorry for my aunt. She deserves better than this. In a way I feel sorry for my cousin, too- she’s kinda messed up. But I feel like if she wants to live in a filthy hoarder house, that’s her choice. She owes her mom better, though. The easiest thing for me to do is just what I did Saturday after giving them a ride. Get back in the car and drive home and try not to think about it. This is my cousin’s responsibility after all, not mine. But… I’d like to help, but I wouldn’t even know where to start. My wife and I are both crazy-busy with work and fifty jillion other things; and when we’re not busy we’re beat. (Join the club right?) Besides I’m just one guy. It would take several people a few full days of trash hauling and scrubbing to get that house into decent (but still ugly) shape. Is there any kind of charity program to help with a situation like this (In Southwestern Indiana)? I’d certainly even donate a few bucks to them- couldn’t be too much; I mean, my wife and I do OK but we’re not wealthy. Not that I’m complaining, I’m very blessed. Now I’m rambling. Thanks for reading this and any suggestions and replies.,Hoosier225
This is major. Your Aunt needs help. And I think you may be the only one that can help her. As @WayToMisery says, call APS first thing in the morning. Or, call your cousin right away and check on her.
I took care of someone who couldn't walk or get out of bed. They must be taken care of properly, turned every few hours to avoid bed sores, moved to avoid blood clots. If your cousin is able to pick her up to get her to the bathroom there is a very high probability that the Aunt's legs will collapse and she will slide to the floor. If this happens, will your cousin realize she can call the Fire Dept. to help her Mom? I used to be a 911 Dispatcher. I know of times where people fell, and the caregivers didn't know what to do.
And, if she can't get her out of bed - what about her Mom's need to go to the bathroom? That's a major, major issue. What about when her daughter goes to work? She can't just leave her there unattended. What if there is a fire, or burglary? Or she falls out of bed and has a stroke. How is she going to eat, if she's alone all day in bed?
Like I said, this is MAJOR and she needs help. If it was me, I'd call my cousin right away to see how she is managing. And, to make sure her Mom is safe. And, then I'd definitely call APS and the Facility that released her - because it sounds like an unsafe discharge to me.
Please note: I'm not suggesting you involve yourself physically by lifting or helping her clean. I'm suggesting you make phone calls to help your Aunt, or even stop by to check on her - because she needs your help.
You are a kind soul, Hoosier. But I agree with the other posters that making this better is beyond what a helpful cousin could hope to accomplish, even if your aunt and cousin agreed to be helped. Definitely time for APS.
Call APS ( adult protective services ) tomorrow morning to report your aunt as a vulnerable elder . This is too much for you to take on . Your aunt and cousin most likely would not take any of your suggestions anyway. They may also lie to you and say visiting angels are coming . Let APS , social services deal with it . They can do more than you can .
Cleaning out the house isn’t enough . Your aunt needs nursing care NOW that your cousin can’t do for her .
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I took care of someone who couldn't walk or get out of bed. They must be taken care of properly, turned every few hours to avoid bed sores, moved to avoid blood clots. If your cousin is able to pick her up to get her to the bathroom there is a very high probability that the Aunt's legs will collapse and she will slide to the floor. If this happens, will your cousin realize she can call the Fire Dept. to help her Mom? I used to be a 911 Dispatcher. I know of times where people fell, and the caregivers didn't know what to do.
And, if she can't get her out of bed - what about her Mom's need to go to the bathroom? That's a major, major issue.
What about when her daughter goes to work? She can't just leave her there unattended. What if there is a fire, or burglary? Or she falls out of bed and has a stroke. How is she going to eat, if she's alone all day in bed?
Like I said, this is MAJOR and she needs help. If it was me, I'd call my cousin right away to see how she is managing. And, to make sure her Mom is safe. And, then I'd definitely call APS and the Facility that released her - because it sounds like an unsafe discharge to me.
Please note: I'm not suggesting you involve yourself physically by lifting or helping her clean. I'm suggesting you make phone calls to help your Aunt, or even stop by to check on her - because she needs your help.
This is too much for you to take on .
Your aunt and cousin most likely would not take any of your suggestions anyway. They may also lie to you and say visiting angels are coming .
Let APS , social services deal with it . They can do more than you can .
Cleaning out the house isn’t enough . Your aunt needs nursing care NOW that your cousin can’t do for her .