He is in assisted living. He is getting out of the hospital today after a week, with a broken arm. The assisted living facility advised us to get a private sitter to stay with him from 7pm-7am to help him to the restroom if he has to go. It's $25/hr, so $300/day for the foreseeable future! Just because he will not call for help or use the urinal! He doesn't seem to understand or to care about how much it costs! What should I do??
So, it boils down to that, I believe. He has too much pride...Why should I call for help? I know how to get to the restroom. I have done this since as far as I can remember. Maybe 3 or 4? So, why can I not go by myself now? I am an adult, you know. Ok, so my balance is a bit off, but I'm ok.. I can just get back up..hopefully...
But, wait, what happens if I cannot get back up? No, I will not think about that. That never happens.
Get a hospital bed, if he doesn't have one. Put the rails up so he can't get out. If he is that stubborn, then perhaps a night sitter will be needed.
GROWING UP AND UP is so much fun until someone falls... If he breaks a hip, then you won't have to worry about a night sitter... You may want to tell him that.
PARENTS.. WHEN WILL THEY EVER LISTEN !
What's the moral of the story? You can't prevent a person from falling no matter WHERE they are. At home, at an ALF, at a SNF, at rehab. Nowhere. You also can't prevent a person from exercising a stubborn behavioral trait. Trust me, I've tried everything on God's green earth for that too. To no avail. Trying to get a stubborn elder to pull a cord or push a button to ask for help is akin to asking them to climb Mt. Everest, for some odd reason unbeknownst to me.
When dad was alive, he'd fall out of the bed and crawl to the bathroom rather than pull the cord to ask for help.
It is what it is. I wish I had some brilliant, fool-proof answer for you but hey, if I did, I'd have used it myself rather than suffer through all of The Phone Calls for All of The Falls. Last month, I got two calls in one day! And she's NEVER been to the hospital for a fall YET. Honestly. She's had broken ribs and sternum bones as a result of some of the falls, but no trips to the hospital b/c she's also a wonderful actress and capable of hiding the truth. Which means she's fallen a lot MORE times than we're aware of and has managed to get herself up w/o help. Ergo broken ribs & sternum bones which were revealed during one of her many hospital stays unrelated to falls (via CT scan). The doctor was kinda scratching her head saying, hmmm, your mother has all sorts of broken bones in various stages of healing, I wonder why? Yeah, me too doc.
Wishing you the best of luck with a very, very, very difficult situation. Is marijuana legal in your state? :)
Thank you, I now know I’m not the only one dealing with stubbornness.
Debbie
If he has plenty of money, then hire someone to sit with him for those 12 hours for as long as the money holds out. At that time, he'll probably have to go to nursing home care anyway unless family will begin picking up the tab for his care.
Is he competent and just refusing to use a urinal? Or is there a dementia issue where he no longer understands he is likely to fall down? If you decide to go the private care route, do you know any friend or family member that wants to earn maybe 1/2 that amount in order to stretch his finances as far as you can? If you do the family/friend thing, contact an atty to help you set up contract and appropriate tax forms so Medicaid doesn't view any payments as gifts further down the line.
Or, tell your Dad he'll have to wear Adult Diapers at night.
The ladt option would be hzve the Senior Home tell him that they won't allow him to stay if he doesn't call for help instead of getting up.
Even after the initial fall he would still get up.As of now he has stayed put at night and wears nighttime depends with extra bedliners to protect the bedding.
Hopefully,This will become the norm.
What finally worked (as some others have suggested) is nighttime briefs - thick enough that they didn't leak onto the sheets if he did go. And, as you may remember from dealing with kids, cutting back on fluids close to bedtime.
Good luck!
I was in my 60's when I broke my arm. Oh my gosh, the pain was terrible and here I always had a high pain tolerance. Sleeping at night was difficult, I had to prop pillows around me so I wouldn't roll over. Going to the bathroom was difficult because it was my primary arm that I broke, so doing things with my other arm felt awkward. Thus I can fully understand why your Dad doesn't use the urinal, he probably can't.
For men, it can be difficult for them to "call for help", for some it makes them feel weak. They rather chance a trip to the bathroom on their own.
Now, with that broken arm, it will take longer for the arm to heal as we get older. Chances are your Dad will need rehab to help get back the use of his arm, as the muscles will freeze in place. My rehab was 3 times a week for a couple of months. It was painful but I knew it wouldn't be forever.
A bed alarm so that staff is aware that he is trying to get out of bed might help IF the staff is quick enough to get to him before he falls.
And worst case..you wait until he falls again and possibly breaks a hip so that getting out of bed will be more difficult.
If he has dementia a Memory Care unit might be better, staff is more tuned to people trying to get up at night. What are his reasons for not wanting to call for help getting up or using a urinal?
And is it the getting up out of bed that is causing the falls or is it the walk to the bathroom that is the problem? If it is the walk would a bedside commode work?
And could you possibly convince him to use a pull up brief at night so that he will not have to get up, will not have to call for help and will not have to use a urinal.