Doctor says she had a brain hemorrhage and wants to put in a feeding tube, both of my parents died of cancer and there was a point in their journey where we had to care for their quality of life. I don’t have experience with the elderly, but isn’t a feeding tube going to causing more harm than good?
My 95 yo mother stopped eating three weeks ago. She had CHF and the disease caused fluid build up in her abdomen. She was miserable and feeling lousy all the time and unable to walk and had arthritis. She gave up because she knew there was nothing left to fight for. Her body could not be fixed. She died peacefully last Thursday.
If she has had a brain hemorrhage have the doctors determined how much damage has been done?
Is she conscious?
Is she cognizant?
Has she ever expressed what her wishes are for her end of life decisions?
If it were me deciding for a loved one I would NOT do a feeding tube, I would not do intubation. And I would not do IV's strictly for hydration. (administrating medications is another thing but I would have to think about why.)
At this point I would opt for Hospice.
If my grandson was ever in your spot, I would want him to let me go to The Lord in PEACE.
Let Grandma go. 🩷
My MIL lasted the last year of her life on >300-400calories per day. We were told she would die within a month of beginning to starve herself. She lasted a year.
BUT--the option to put in a feeding tube was never discussed. She had made her EOL choices, and this was one of them.
A feeding tube can cause bloating, gas, and a lot of gastro issues.
Grandma is 90. Perhaps it's time to bring in Hospice Care.
Please do not rob your grandmother of this. Have hospice keep her comfortable.
I used to work in nursing homes many many years ago when feeding tubes were common in these cases . It was a miserable existence for these poor people, that could last years .
I’m sorry . I hope your aunt can let go .
I am sorry for the loss of your parents.
I have to agree with everyone else. No feeding tube for your grandma.
It’s normal for appetites to diminish as people approach the end of their lives.
Wishing you peace as you anticipate the loss of your grandmother.
I am sorry if this is the case to be done to your grandmother. In all honesty I think it exceptionally cruel. I would request hospice if the decision is yours and your grandmother cannot make it for herself.
Sorry for what you are going through. No matter how many tubes you put down your grandmother is likely dying. With Hospice she can be made comfortable. With tube feedings she will likely have severe diarrhea and bed sores and a prolonging of her misery.
Again, I as a retired RN find this quite shocking for a doctor to suggest. Back in my time it was a profit thing, but there's no profit in it now with DRGs paying for hospital care. So I cannot imagine a doctor wanting to put an elder through this.