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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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I try to get out, but find that his anger and sarcasm makes it harder and harder. My son lives with us so he is never alone. He is in total denial over his diagnosis (understandable) but is very self centered. Any suggestions? Thanks.
Jmc0803, have your husband checked for a urinary tract infection. Such infections can add more confusion and create anger.
Take hubby to his family doctor and have the doctor do an urinary tract infection test. It is easy for hubby, all he needs to do is pee in a cup. If the doctor has a lab on site, the findings can be done quickly. This can be treated with antibiotics.
If hubby won't go to the doctor, tell hubby you are going for yourself and you would like to have him come along.
Continue to go out. Son is there so you know he is safe. Like TN said, walk out of the room and tell yourself its the desease. His brain is dying. If this confusion is causing anxiety, then he may need some medication.
If its a fight everytime you leave the house maybe slip out the back way. When he asks ur son where you r, then son can say you went to the store. Like members have said, may have to start telling lies. You are entitled to get away.
Although dementia has some common symptoms and problems, it is also a personal journey for each individual. My father with vascular dementia became angry and sarcastic too while claiming to have no problems. (He just needed to keep the car keys in the ignition so he could find them - with the house key on the ring.) I believe what it comes down to about leaving the house, even when there's someone else staying there during your absence, is his fear and his reliance on you to help him cope when things "aren't right". You have become his security blanket. I also see this "security blanket" behavior in my mother with MCI, although she isn't angry or sarcastic.
The anger, sarcasm, and self-centered behavior are probably only going to worsen as the disease progresses. Your husband is not going to be able to control this difficult behavior as dementia damages more of his brain. Dementia destroyed my father's personality. Your husband is mostly likely going to transition into a person you don't recognize much of time.
I dealt with the behavior changes by telling myself that anger and sarcasm was the disease and not my father. Sometimes I needed to step into another room for a couple of minutes to get that perspective back and ignore the hurtful remarks. I would give Daddy a kiss and hug as we left while telling him exactly where we were going and when we would be back; that I was turning the security system on as we left and no one could get into the house without him knowing it and the police being called. I usually brought some treat back (take out meal, ice cream, donuts, etc). If you can make the transition to think of your husband's motivations as similar to those of a young child you can better determine how to comfort him. Like that selfish young child, it's just not possible to give him everything he wants, but you can be firm and kind when you need to tell him no.
I found the personality changes the most difficult part of my father's dementia to cope with, much more challenging than the loss of cognitive skills or physical problems. I will pray God's comfort helps you on your difficult journey.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Take hubby to his family doctor and have the doctor do an urinary tract infection test. It is easy for hubby, all he needs to do is pee in a cup. If the doctor has a lab on site, the findings can be done quickly. This can be treated with antibiotics.
If hubby won't go to the doctor, tell hubby you are going for yourself and you would like to have him come along.
If its a fight everytime you leave the house maybe slip out the back way. When he asks ur son where you r, then son can say you went to the store. Like members have said, may have to start telling lies. You are entitled to get away.
The anger, sarcasm, and self-centered behavior are probably only going to worsen as the disease progresses. Your husband is not going to be able to control this difficult behavior as dementia damages more of his brain. Dementia destroyed my father's personality. Your husband is mostly likely going to transition into a person you don't recognize much of time.
I dealt with the behavior changes by telling myself that anger and sarcasm was the disease and not my father. Sometimes I needed to step into another room for a couple of minutes to get that perspective back and ignore the hurtful remarks. I would give Daddy a kiss and hug as we left while telling him exactly where we were going and when we would be back; that I was turning the security system on as we left and no one could get into the house without him knowing it and the police being called. I usually brought some treat back (take out meal, ice cream, donuts, etc). If you can make the transition to think of your husband's motivations as similar to those of a young child you can better determine how to comfort him. Like that selfish young child, it's just not possible to give him everything he wants, but you can be firm and kind when you need to tell him no.
I found the personality changes the most difficult part of my father's dementia to cope with, much more challenging than the loss of cognitive skills or physical problems. I will pray God's comfort helps you on your difficult journey.