But, the revocation language to revoke previous POA was not in the new POA. We are in Texas and I’m wondering if both our POA are valid. We can’t ask her atty because all he did was hand her blank paperwork. So, the atty hasn’t seen it. She has not given us a copy, so unsure what it says. My husband’s said he had durable POA and then had springing language with both of them. He has dementia, but our atty said it would be hard to prove he was incompetent when he signed.
Thanks for your further information, posted below under my response to you.
It so helps to have clear what happened and what happened is exactly as I suspected it would be.
Your husband's sister is the primary caregiver here.
While he was in hospital, knowing there would be decisions he's not always capable of making, she got a POA so she can manage his care. In my humble opinion, she should be the one managing his care IF SHE IS CAPABLE of doing so. I would support her in that.
Your attorney is dead-on correct. Dad can make a new POA and he did. EVEN if he has some dementia. In fact, my brother and I did his POA AFTER he was diagnosed with dementia (Lewy's) as in "Probable Early Lewy's Dementia by Symptoms". He was fully capable of assigning me, and boy, was that attorney THOROUGH in ascertaining that.
Now, being POA is difficult. Entails meticulous record keeping of all finances. Sister has a right to some shared living expenses and hopefully she and attorney did a contract to that affect. But she also has to keep records. YOU and HUBBY have no right to request those records. But a court does, if you suspect fraud. You can, if you have clear proof (keep a diary) of fraud or neglect, go again to an attorney or APS and ask that records be presented to the court. The court will not discuss the records, but will decide if Sister is capable in her management of Dad and his finances. Again, she needn't discuss anything with you; these records and expenditures are as private as were he in charge of his own finances.
Your attorney is also correct that it is VERY costly to try for guardianship. Also, I guarantee you would LOSE unless you proved fraud or incompetence and good luck with that. The minimum WAS 10K. Can only imagine what it is now.
You don't live there. You aren't doing the care. I think Sis should be the POA and so would the court. UNLESS she is fraudulent or incapable. Her having a special needs son is neither here nor there; he may be a great help in looking after Grand dad.
Here's what I would do now. I would let her know you understand she is the POA at this point and would like to offer what assistance to them that you are able. Wish her luck. Open yourself to discussion, respite, whatever.
Good luck. We here on AC are WELL AWARE of how difficult familial problems are in the caregiving schemes. But adversarial relationships will now HARM dad and split him just when he most needs the support of you all.
I hope you'll update how it is going. But you have factual and good advice from your attorney. I would follow it.
I wish all the very best of luck.
My husband, myself, my sil and fil all live in the same town and no one has been living with him until about two months ago when her son moved in. And he has truly helped, he’s just not equipped to care give. He will do anything that is asked of him and tries really hard.
We have asked over and over to help. Although, she has been taking him to drs, etc., we have not been kept in the loop on the things that were needed.. There is absolutely no communication from her and with fil having dementia, we couldn’t find out from him. So, I promise it’s not for lack of trying or wanting to help, we have been pushed out. Since all this has happened, she has not been able to push us out and we have been as involved as we could given she has poa. But, I do feel like she’s trying to do the right thing. I truly don’t think she realizes the extent of his dementia. And the main problem is communication. When we try to speak with her about her thoughts, she either doesn’t answer or changes the subject. I think it could possibly be worked out if she would communicate and she would let us be involved, but we just have to do what we can. And my fil has no clue about all this because he doesn’t comprehend much. He will probably go home from the rehab next week and there’s a true possibility he will be in the hospital again soon because when he’s home he doesn’t eat or drink, or bathe. I pray she is able to get 24/7 sitters, and they can help him with these things. We just want him to be safe and healthy. And if she can accomplish that with sitters, that would be awesome. But, once again the communication comes into play, so we do not know her plans.
I know she doesn’t have to tell us anything about what she spends, but I think I said it previously that my husband is on his dads bank account and is a joint account, so we know what she spends anyway. It will all work out well hopefully. I just wish it could be different. My mom had dementia for 11yrs, so I know how hard it can be because i never had help from my brother and it would have been a blessing to have him take some of the load off of my shoulders and I would love to take some of it from her.
Do you have anything saying Dad had Dementia. A doctor putting in down in his records. What about tgr Rehab itsself, did they note that there was Dementia present? Your SIL would have needed witnesses and a notary present to say Dad was who the paperwork said he was. She does not have to send you a copy of the POA.
If APS gets involved, ask them to have her provide the POA. They may have the power to revoke it and allow your husbands to be invoked.
If this wasn't done properly, the old POA is not revoked and it's my understanding that you can't legally appoint a new POA - yet. I may be sketchy on some of these details, so run this by your lawyer to find out if this applies to your situation.
Thank you for your reply, these are great things to ask our attorney.
Does FIL have Dementia?
If those two things are true, then what Sister did is illegal, and husband needs to go there at once and press charges.
Someone with SEVERE dementia, who is legally incompetent, cannot make out a new POA.
If however, your husband is NOT acting POA CURRENTLY, and is not managing FIL's legal and financial affairs currently, and the FIL is competent enough to understand he is assigned now your husband's sister as POA instead of husband, then the new POA document is the ONLY one that is legal. All others done before it are no longer legal.
I think your husband needs to GO now to wherever Dad and Sis live, and to work out who is POA, and if it is legally done. Let sister know if she has tried to cancel a legal POA by having someone too demented to know what he is doing make another, that is fraud and she can be prosecuted. THAT at the least may get her to cough up the paperwork. And there NEEDED TO BE A practicing attorney there to assess FIL's mentation.
It is certain preferrable that a new POA document revoke all others; but legally it doesn't HAVE to do so.
The crucial thing here is examination by an attorney, a legally done document, and a competent principal (the one giving the POA to either Sister or Hubby).
Sissy may be the caregiver?
If she is, it would be in fact preferrable, if she is competent to do so, for her to be POA.