It's been a long few months. A battle that seems to be coming to an end. I myself feel quite sad about it, but I know my husband must feel devastated. His mom, only in her 40's is looking like she's about to leave this earth, no longer eating or drinking for the past 4 days from advanced cancer. He fought so hard, and so did she, to keep her and let her enjoy her first grandbabies, but she's tired now and ready to go. Understandably so, she's been bedridden and unable to have any quality of life. She can't really speak right now either.
It always worried me seeing him in emotional pain, and I am sad about that part about as much as seeing my MIL pass. She's always been so nice and loving, the best MIL ever. But I'm also worried about my husband and how he will take it. Death he confessed was never something he's been good with handling.
I didn't know the day would come this soon, but I always fretted in my mind how would I be able to help him cope, especially considering the deep love he has for his mom.
How are ways that I can be there for him and support him through the grief? I know I will have grief too, because she was my MIL who I dearly loved. It breaks my heart seeing him so sad.
Your pain is a testament to the love you felt for your dear MIL. Rest assured, she knew how much you cared for her. Yes, she was young but remember, she passed surrounded by love, something many, even much older than her, do not have.
I am glad that she suffers no more and remember, she now has a front row seat to the beautiful life you and your husband are building, she knows she is in your memory and in your heart.
With thoughts and prayers.
She was such a loving and giving selfless person. Though caregiving had its moments where I wanted to throw in the towel I wouldn't replace that time for the world. It was our gift to her. I'm happy she is no longer suffering but she left this world so young, just a few days after her 49th birthday. I'm glad with got to celebrate with her. It was like she was telling us goodbye. I did tell her things while her eyes were closed but now I think I wanted to tell her loads more of how much I love her.
My husband is doing pretty well for the most part. Yes there are tears and heartache. He loved his mom so much. We all have our moments but at this time I think I'm actually taking it the worse. I keep thinking about what could've been. I wish I could tell her more of how much she meant to me. Losing a mother at any age is tough but I feel she was so young. I thank you for your prayers. This is hard.
John 14:1-4 “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.”
Praying for you at most difficult of times.
I pray that she will be at peace and when it is her time to go she can go knowing both of you will be OK
My condolences to you and your husband. It sounds like at this point, there is only hugging and kissing and caring and reminiscing. Just caring and loving at this point there is nothing else you can “do”. May her pain end soon; not that I wish anymore pain on any of you, I hope you understand. God bless & much love & hugs
One thing I've thought a lot as all the remembrances have poured in about my dad from his former students and friends, is why don't we celebrate a person while they are still here to enjoy it?
While your MIL is still here, word has it that she can hear you and may be conscious of you even if she seems unconscious. This is an important time for your husband and you to say anything that you feel is still unsaid, maybe even write something down so you can tell your MIL how much you love her while she can still hear it. Peace and hugs to you and your husband during this time, you are supporting him just by being there.
Elisabeth Kubler Ross's five stages of grief is very true
https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/
My wife, now nine years into Alzheimer's is still at home with me, but increasingly not able to live as she (and I) would wish. There is a saying that with Alzheimer's the caregiver begins to grieve and cry long before the person dies. In a sense, one is grieving for the loss of the dying person as they once were, as they will not be, and because they are dying. There are many forms of grief; and you and your husband have every right to find and experience the grief that is right for each of you. However, it might not be helpful for each of you to be the major support for each other, because the ways you are grieving might be different, given your different memories and experiences of your mother-in-law/ his mother.
My prayers and hopes for you both.
God Bless...Just know God is Here, dear.....
I'm so sorry for you and your husband's loss.
Let your husband dictate what he needs. Let him cry and talk about her. Just listen. He may turn inward for a while, but don’t take it personally. Just be there for each other.
(((Hugs)))