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She believes the panties help keep the poop from leaking out of the diapers. So not true. I believe they just make it harder to pull her diapers down in time to go. Poop is everywhere! I'm sick of it and of having to pretreat the stains and wash them. Is having panties meeting some emotional need she has? What should I do?

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The soiled underwear is awful, but just a smaller part of the bigger problem: the diarrhea. I really hope you can solve that! Keep working with the medical people - must be causing so much deydration, along with lack of nutirents & of course all the clean-up.

As a short term I would move immediately to disposable stretch over-pants. Wherever you buy the disposable nappy pants ask if they have stretch pants. I may call them different to you (google Tena fix pants to see what I mean). They can be rewashed a few times or just thrown out! Are super stretchy so much easier to get up & down but feel like underwear & that may please Mum. Sort of a boy-leg unisex trunk shape - but many ladies tell me they are really comfy.

Can also change to these in future -just add small changeable pads - if you can ever get to a better stage. I hope so & good luck.
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I agree with Faceit. What harm, except an added effort on your part, does it cause to wear panties over the diapers? Who really cares about getting the stains out? No one is going to be looking at the inside of her panties. Older ladies just don't feel "right" without their panties on. No going commando for me!

Has she been seen by a doctor and does she have a medical diagnosis for the diarrhea? Any lab tests (poo sample) or colon studies (scope) done? If not, she needs to have a GI workup. Has she tried a food elimination diet?

Has she tried these foods daily?
 Oatmeal, cream of wheat, cream of rice, bananas, applesauce, plain white rice, bread or toast, boiled potatoes and plain crackers.
Stop most fruit and dairy products.
Be sure to drink more liquids to replace the fluid lost in the diarrhea.

There are many medications, from antibiotics to anti-spasm meds, for intractable diarrhea. Prayers for you both.
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Erlanger1243 Apr 2019
Part of the problem is diet. She refuses to eat healthy, prefering mostly desserts and salty snack foods. So she's not getting much fiber. Also she's missing most of her colon from it being removed due to colon cancer. So it's food in; food right back out. As for the extra effort on my part, I'm trying eliminate extra effort since there is only one of me and I'm taking care of my father and working and trying to take care of myself physically and mentally as I am disabled and have my own health issues. I'm an only child and we have no other family in the area. So extra effort... No thanks.
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My mom had chronic diarrhea as long as I can remember, so even back in her 30's. I too, got so tired of dealing with it. One doc finally told me to try giving her a probiotic. VOILA! The diarrhea subsided! Mom had dealt with this for so long.

You should check with her doc on this. I gave mom one Walgreens Super Probiotic each day. Sometimes she would end up with what others would call constipation. Had to have her flushed out a few times. But, there was really no reason why she should not have been able to go due to the consistency of the stuff that came out.

I think because of mom's chronic diarrhea she forgot she had to push to get it out. Probiotic controlled something that had been awful to deal with for decades.
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Erlanger1243 Apr 2019
That is a great idea. Now getting her to take the probiotic is another matter. She takes so many pills as it is, getting her to add new ones is always a battle. But yes. A very helpful suggestion indeed. Thank you.
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Well, I did put sports style boxers over mom's pull up when she had the runs - the longer, snug legs did help to keep things from running down her legs and onto the floor. Given their purpose I can't say I worried too much about getting them stain free.
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Erlanger1243 Apr 2019
I'll keep that in mind. She's kind of stubborn and particular when it comes to clothes. But it's worth a try. Thanks.
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