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Don't argue is the best tip. No matter what she says your reply to her should be "Is that so, Mom. Let me think about that a bit".
Your concerns now should be for the short term and long term care. If dementia is too severe then Mom won't be able to participate in rehab, which will mean poor healing. Hopefully she will be able to transfer to SNF (Skilled nursing) for a while. There you should meet with all doing care as to any progress she can make.
This is something you must now accept as "day to day", and it isn't easily predicted. When she is back in a more normal environment she may improve. Again, she may NOT. This is one-day-at-a-time. I sure do wish you the best of luck.
Yes, stop arguing back. There's absolutely nothing to be gained from arguing with someone who has a broken brain.
As everyone has stated, there's a good chance this is temporary and, if your mum is distressed, you could ask for her to be given a mild sedative to calm her down.
Otherwise, I'd advise the word, "okay," then walk away for a moment, if only to give yourself a breather.
I hope this phase doesn't continue. Wishing you all the best.
Ask about a med to calm her down . My sister with dementia , got delirium after back surgery . She was very argumentative , and paranoid . They gave her Seroquel . They did also test for a UTI and scans for stroke .
This is a common phenomenon in elders after surgery called "hospital delirium". It can take a while for it to clear up, but sometimes it doesn't. Or, she has a UTI that is creating the symptoms. It wouldn't hurt to have her tested for this since it is treatable.
There's really not much you can do to "help her" other than not to argue with someone with a broken brain. Anesthesia is known to make dementia worse in those suffering from dementia initially, and all you can do is hope that in time it will improve as sometimes it does and in some cases it does not. And I guess you can help make sure when it comes time for PT, that your mom does her exercises to get that that shoulder moving again, as she won't be able to remember to do things on her own. Dementia sucks no ifs ands or buts, and I'm sorry that you are one of the millions dealing with a LO with it.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
No matter what she says your reply to her should be "Is that so, Mom. Let me think about that a bit".
Your concerns now should be for the short term and long term care. If dementia is too severe then Mom won't be able to participate in rehab, which will mean poor healing. Hopefully she will be able to transfer to SNF (Skilled nursing) for a while. There you should meet with all doing care as to any progress she can make.
This is something you must now accept as "day to day", and it isn't easily predicted. When she is back in a more normal environment she may improve. Again, she may NOT. This is one-day-at-a-time. I sure do wish you the best of luck.
As everyone has stated, there's a good chance this is temporary and, if your mum is distressed, you could ask for her to be given a mild sedative to calm her down.
Otherwise, I'd advise the word, "okay," then walk away for a moment, if only to give yourself a breather.
I hope this phase doesn't continue. Wishing you all the best.
Get her out in the sunshine daily. Make sure she is getting plenty of fluids and eating protein to heal the shoulder.
The PT is important.
My sister with dementia , got delirium after back surgery . She was very argumentative , and paranoid . They gave her Seroquel .
They did also test for a UTI and scans for stroke .
Anesthesia is known to make dementia worse in those suffering from dementia initially, and all you can do is hope that in time it will improve as sometimes it does and in some cases it does not.
And I guess you can help make sure when it comes time for PT, that your mom does her exercises to get that that shoulder moving again, as she won't be able to remember to do things on her own.
Dementia sucks no ifs ands or buts, and I'm sorry that you are one of the millions dealing with a LO with it.