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She thinks we are trying to take her stuff from her.

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"On the loo" is that what we in the states call the bathroom toilet? If so, and the reason is that she's afraid you will steal her stuff while she's in there then maybe you can try putting an adult potty chair placed in her bedroom. That way she can use the toilet and also keep an eye on her stuff? It's not a perfect solution but at least it will keep her out of diapers for a while?
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Caregivers should never have to tolerate violence or physical abuse from the ones we care for. And for some reason, many of them become obsessed with their toileting habits. Is it time for a facility? Or, a visit to her doctor? There are medications for dementia that can help with anxiety.
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Where does she go to the bathroom?
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