My mom is 73 yrs old and is constantly belittling me she thinks I'm her personal slave and acts as if the world revolves around her. Rewind to a few yrs ago she wasn't this bad she was typically outgoing loved to have fun and wasn't so angry at the world! Now she is always mad always hungry always complaining she is very offensive and calls whomever will hear her out to say bad stuff about me and then she will say she didn't say it. She constantly leaves the toilet (thankfully her toilet) full of everything you can imagine then says it wasn't her. Guess who gets the sh*tty end of it (meeee) she's very ungrateful and she does things and says she didn't do it or forgets. She wants me to be at her beck and call all day and stuck in the kitchen for hours on end. I don't get it she only weighs 135lbs. I have my husband and my little daughter to care for also. She doesn't get that I didn't cause all her ailments nor can I neglect my home. My older siblings will not care for her for the same reason. She's very difficult to deal with she looks sweet but has so much anger. I'm overwhelmed and well I found this online and noticed I wasn't alone in this frustration of caring for an elderly parent. She used to be mean sometimes to my Dad and would get jealous if I stayed awake with him. I tried explaining to her constantly that he was not going to be with me long but she didn't care at all...smh
It might be a good idea to stay around in her house for awhile and see just how she's faring there alone, so you can tell the doctor this too. Is she really able to prepare her own food? Is she able to take her own medications? Is she handling her hygiene properly? Pay her bills? When people are no longer able to do these activities, there might be a physical reason for it. She could have a UTI, vitamin deficiency, medication interaction, dementia or something else.
My LO used to act similar to what you describe. She was very bossy, arrogant, stubborn and disagreeable. I couldn't figure it out. I tried to help her and she treated me so poorly. Later, we discovered it was dementia. She was not able to control her behavior and was actually very scared, because she knew something strange was happening to her, but she didn't understand what it was.
So, I'd try to comfort you mother and be understanding, until you can figure out what it is. No one deserves to be treated poorly, but, I'd make sure that she is competent, before getting too harsh.
Decisions need to be made. You aren’t there mentally and probably physically for your baby girl or your hubby. Hubby will reach his limit of patience with this way of living.
Start checking out appropriate accomodations for her and let her know you aren’t kidding. Either she treats you with respect or she’s out. As long as you tolerate it she’ll be happy to abuse you.