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Forward these letters to your Mother's POA, if there is one. IF you are the POA then it is your obligation to assist in payment of your mother's bills as they would be handled by her were she capable of doing so.
You give us no details. Do know that the nursing home will eventually get Social Services involved, and without a POA or a Guardian, your mother's guardianship will likely go legally to the state. At that point Mom's Social Security, and ALL ASSETS will be under the jurisdiction of the guardian and will be used in Mom's care. You will have utterly NOTHING to say about anything that had to do with Mom's life.
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Beckyd592 Aug 2020
My sister and I are her POAs. Social services is involved now. She has no money to pay anything. The NH will take her Social Security check.
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If your mom can pay for the balances on her credit cards then you should help her get that done. She did after all borrow the money and benefit from it.

If she is on Medicaid and has no money to pay, then I would compose a short letter explaining that she is in a NH on Medicaid and is unfortunately unable to repay the money. If she has a house let them know that they can go after her estate when she dies. Further contact of yourself will be considered harassment and dealt with accordingly, tell them their continued calls are destroying your peace of mind. Give them the NH address and phone number. By law they can not harass you and get away with it since you are not on the account. If you are on the account, you are responsible for the bill.
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Beckyd592 Aug 2020
S has no money and there will be no estate. I was not on any of her accounts and I never used any of them.
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Tell them she died four years ago.

They will write her off.

Try it
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Isthisrealyreal Aug 2020
No. That would cause problems because they can check if she passed. It would also indicate that she has been using the card and paying the bill. Fraud and financial responsibility are created by that lie.
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Hopefully you are not an authorized user on any of these cards. Did she change her mailing address when she moved to the NH or does her mail still come to your house, trying to figure out if she is receiving all of her mail. Does she have the funds to pay the balances on the cards? If she has not paid and is financially able to do so you may be able to negotiate a lower balance because of all the interest and penalties added since December. DO NOT offer to pay them yourself, you are not liable for her debt regardless of what they tell you. Is she self pay or Medicaid at nursing home? If Medicaid, call her credit card companies, tell them she no longer lives with you, please stop calling your phone, that she is in a nursing home on Medicaid and you are not responsible for her bills. Should put a stop to collection calls.
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Beckyd592 Aug 2020
I was not an authorized user. She did not change her address. She went in there 3 weeks ago. She has no money. Medicaid is helping with the nursing home fees. I tried to call a couple of them but they wouldnt talk to me.
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Unless mom has the money, and unless she is paying her own nursing home costs, she doesn't, why pay the cards? Children are not responsible for the debts of their parents. What is the worst that can happen? If there is an estate after your mom passes, the creditors may go after payment. In the meantime, why protect your mom's credit? If bills haven't been paid since December her credit is already trashed. Not many people in a nursing home need good credit.
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Hopefully someone with first hand knowledge will be along to help you but you might also try typing "debt collectors" in the forum search bar to find advice from lots of people who have had this problem before.
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GardenArtist Aug 2020
Thanks for raising the issue of debt collectors; this was my first thought as I read the OP's post.
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If she's in a nursing home how much does she need her credit card? I would be worried someone is fraudulently using it.
Do the bills go to her in the NH?
Next time you visit call the customer service number on the card, or on the bill, and speak to someone. They may want to ask your mother for permission to speak to you about her card. Update the phone info, pay the balance and consider cancelling the card.
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Beckyd592 Aug 2020
Se went inro the nursing home 3 weeks ago. I did not know how much she owed or that she was behind. She always managed her own money and bills, so I thought. She has no money to pay these bills. Im not sure what happened to her money since December. I tried to talk to her about it but she refused.
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