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If you have evidence of malfeasance or of inability I would see an elder law attorney. You as the daughter will have an upper hand on getting guardianship of an elder who is severely demented to the point of incompetency in the instance of someone endangering her by mismanaging finances. But you will need proof and you will need an attorney.
A POA has a fiduciary duty to manage finances in protection of the elder who appointed him/her. The person owes YOU no explanation, but must keep meticulous records. The court can summon the POA to present their paperwork. Again, this is a court action.
If you don't have a good relationship with him, how do you know what mistakes he is making? Honestly, when someone comes to this forum complaining that they are being "locked out" by a PoA, sometimes it is for good reasons. We are only getting your side of the story.
Have you tried talking to someone at APS? Is this issue something where they can intervene? If they don't find evidence of a problem, then you will continue to be locked out. If they do decide to intervene, are *you* able to take up all that mess and deal with it?
If you know he is being negligent (and you have hard evidence to prove it) then, as igloo572 has suggested, guardianship through the courts is the option.
For whatever reason your mom made her nephew her POA. Not you.
Unless your mom of her own free will wants to change this and she is competent and cognitive enough to do this, that nephew will remain her POA. So will your mom do this and is she competent to do so?
IF not then you as her son, will have to go to court to file to attempt to become her guardian or her conservator. And whatever costs it takes to do this are on you to pay. It may or may not be successful.
Realize whatever bills and problems due to what mom or the nephew did / didn’t do then all become your problem once you become her legal guardian. The old issues do not magically go away. They still exist but are all yours. And if your mom still has the ability to go and do things again that were problematic in the past, the pattern will continue.
I’ve read you old posts. Do you have immense time and money to spend to do whatever needed to deal with all this? Fretting about property taxes and now sales taxes are band aids on a much bigger problem. Have the incomplete LTC Medicaid application issues been totally resolved with your moms old NH? Have they allowed her to return? Is there an unpaid NH bill as well? Hospital bills from those 2 runs to the ER? If the POA nephew absconded with her $ then mom needs to file a police report on him. If there is a sea of bills, unsecured property issues and your mom very deliberately made someone - who lives in another State atop this - other than her son her POA, let mom & that POA deal with it and when it collapses APS will get contacted and a court ordered guardian will happen. The court could ask you to be the guardian.
But if you insist on being involved right now, Really you should be putting down $ - my guess would be 10K /15K - as a minimum retainer for an attorney to start the research on your moms multi state situation and filing for emergency guardianship if she will not do a fresh POA. As there will be the need for a law firm in an other State, it will be $$$$. You need attorneys, not this forum.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
A POA has a fiduciary duty to manage finances in protection of the elder who appointed him/her. The person owes YOU no explanation, but must keep meticulous records. The court can summon the POA to present their paperwork. Again, this is a court action.
Have you tried talking to someone at APS? Is this issue something where they can intervene? If they don't find evidence of a problem, then you will continue to be locked out. If they do decide to intervene, are *you* able to take up all that mess and deal with it?
If you know he is being negligent (and you have hard evidence to prove it) then, as igloo572 has suggested, guardianship through the courts is the option.
Unless your mom of her own free will wants to change this and she is competent and cognitive enough to do this, that nephew will remain her POA. So will your mom do this and is she competent to do so?
IF not then you as her son, will have to go to court to file to attempt to become her guardian or her conservator. And whatever costs it takes to do this are on you to pay. It may or may not be successful.
Realize whatever bills and problems due to what mom or the nephew did / didn’t do then all become your problem once you become her legal guardian. The old issues do not magically go away. They still exist but are all yours. And if your mom still has the ability to go and do things again that were problematic in the past, the pattern will continue.
I’ve read you old posts. Do you have immense time and money to spend to do whatever needed to deal with all this? Fretting about property taxes and now sales taxes are band aids on a much bigger problem. Have the incomplete LTC Medicaid application issues been totally resolved with your moms old NH? Have they allowed her to return? Is there an unpaid NH bill as well? Hospital bills from those 2 runs to the ER? If the POA nephew absconded with her $ then mom needs to file a police report on him.
If there is a sea of bills, unsecured property issues and your mom very deliberately made someone - who lives in another State atop this - other than her son her POA, let mom & that POA deal with it and when it collapses APS will get contacted and a court ordered guardian will happen. The court could ask you to be the guardian.
But if you insist on being involved right now, Really you should be putting down $ - my guess would be 10K /15K - as a minimum retainer for an attorney to start the research on your moms multi state situation and filing for emergency guardianship if she will not do a fresh POA. As there will be the need for a law firm in an other State, it will be $$$$. You need attorneys, not this forum.
Otherwise Fawnby said it best, it’s her circus.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/moms-poa-is-in-another-state-the-nursing-home-requested-financial-docs-to-qualify-for-medicaid-the-p-483278.htm?orderby=recent
Did you follow any of the advice?
What kind of sales tax needs to be paid? Does mom own a business?
Sounds messy and tricky.