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My 87 year old mother with dementia has been asleep for nearly 2 whole days. I've tried to wake her but she just stays asleep. I've been giving her small amounts of liquid which she will swallow. I haven't got her to eat anything though.
Relieved for you and your mom, sguyton83, that she's not in any pain. I'm sorry for you with her though. I was in your shoes last month. Mom's hospice nurses said it's best just to let her sleep and try not to rouse her. Mom may have been having TIAs and they said she just needs to sleep. Her body will wake her up if need be.
It's hard, but I and my sisters did our best to keep her body in comfort and send off her spirit in peace. {hug}
Sguyton83, how is mom doing? In this situation, hospice is to be called not 911. Its not uncommon for this to happen but it could be a stroke or something else. If she's sleeping hospice will not want you to drug her. Its entirely up to you, you don't have to give her any medication.
Knowing your mom in under Hospice care changes everything!
Yes, in this situation, sleeping non stop IS normal. Her body is shutting down. Call Hospice and talk to your contact there.
Yes, Hospice will provide drugs to keep the patient out of pain, that's what they're for. They don't "come in and drug her to death" death occurs naturally and in peace.
Sounds like you need to wrap your brain around the fact that mom is in her last days or weeks of life. I am sorry for your situation, so many of us have been right where you are.
Nothing is "wrong" death is as natural as can be. Please don't let your mom be in pain, ok? Even giving her liquids by mouth can be excruciating to someone whose digestive system is shut down.
Please get some help from your hospice support group.
Does your Mom seem to respond that you are giving her liquid. Does she open her mouth to receive the liquid? A couple of weeks before my Mom passed, she first refused to get out of bed. She closed her eyes and never opened them again. She didn't want to be touched and reacted by pulling her arm away. But never opened her eyes. I was called and told she no longer could swallow, thats when I asked for hospice. You do need to call them. A nurse can tell you if she is in her final days.
I agree with Jeanne. Casting about and wondering what’s wrong is not good for your stress level. And assuming that Hospice will drug Mom up and let her die may not be the way it would go either. Please take everyone’s advice and call Hospice right away. And come back here as often as you can to let us know how you’re doing.
A lot of people (including me) would like to die in their sleep. Your mother is on hospice, and assumed to be close to dying. Sleeping may not be a bad condition for her, if she is not in pain and suffering. Please call the Hospice Help Line. If they suggest drugs, ask them what the drugs will accomplish. You are in charge of what drugs you give, regardless of their advice, but you might as well at least listen to their advice.
I forgot to mention, about three days ago I gave her 1mg of adivan to help her sleep. She was crying and mumbling all night and wasn't able to fall asleep more than 5-10 mins at a time.
sguyton, thanks for the update. Since your Mom is in Hospice, that is a different ballgame. You don't call 911, you contact the Hospice 24 hour hot line and speak to the nurse telling him/her what is going on with Mom.
Don't ignore this, you don't want your Mom to be in pain as your Mom maybe automatically swallowing the water but it will just sit in her stomach and/or kidneys, and that would be painful for her.
Don't be surprised if your Mom is hiding her pain by sleeping. Some people just don't want to admit to family they are hurting, but will admit to a nurse. Don't do Mom a disservice, Hospice is there to comfort Mom.
Be there for her the best you know how. But may be speak to a professional to see if you will be calling emergency services.
I would call them but as you said, you would be worried that they would say DRUGS. May be they can answer any questions you may have. I am sure they will have seen all stages of her illness before.
The week before this happened she was making crying noises all night and all day. I just figured she was sleeping heavy now because she didn't sleep properly all last week. She is home hospice now and im worried if I call them they will just want me to drug her and let her die. She doesn't speak, only swallows the water and goes back to sleep.
sguyton, I agree with Midkid above, call 911 immediately.
Sleeping for 2 days straight is not normal. Plus I would be concerned that any water given to your Mom would go into her lungs and she not be able to cough it out.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It's hard, but I and my sisters did our best to keep her body in comfort and send off her spirit in peace. {hug}
Yes, in this situation, sleeping non stop IS normal. Her body is shutting down. Call Hospice and talk to your contact there.
Yes, Hospice will provide drugs to keep the patient out of pain, that's what they're for. They don't "come in and drug her to death" death occurs naturally and in peace.
Sounds like you need to wrap your brain around the fact that mom is in her last days or weeks of life. I am sorry for your situation, so many of us have been right where you are.
Nothing is "wrong" death is as natural as can be. Please don't let your mom be in pain, ok? Even giving her liquids by mouth can be excruciating to someone whose digestive system is shut down.
Please get some help from your hospice support group.
Don't ignore this, you don't want your Mom to be in pain as your Mom maybe automatically swallowing the water but it will just sit in her stomach and/or kidneys, and that would be painful for her.
Don't be surprised if your Mom is hiding her pain by sleeping. Some people just don't want to admit to family they are hurting, but will admit to a nurse. Don't do Mom a disservice, Hospice is there to comfort Mom.
But may be speak to a professional to see if you will be calling emergency services.
I would call them but as you said, you would be worried that they would say DRUGS. May be they can answer any questions you may have. I am sure they will have seen all stages of her illness before.
She doesn't speak, only swallows the water and goes back to sleep.
Sleeping for 2 days straight is not normal. Plus I would be concerned that any water given to your Mom would go into her lungs and she not be able to cough it out.
She may have had a stroke in her sleep, which you would not have noticed. I'd call 911 an get her checked out at a hospital, ASAP.