My mother and I have always been very close and always called me when she and my father ever needed anything. I had spent several weeks traveling 300 mile round trip going back and forth from their home and mine while my father was sick and took a sudden turn and passed in June just days after I had left to come home for a day to take care of some personal business and at which point my sister moved herself right into my parent's home. I have not been allowed near there without the threat that I will be arrested if I come anywhere near the home. In fact I had spent 3 days in jail when I was picked up on an arrest warrant that I was not aware even existed because my sister filed false charges of assault and terrorist threats, which I am still waiting to go to court yet because it has been post-poned three times for various reasons unbeknown to me, so I am still waiting on that date yet. However, my problem is that my mother has completely disowned me, will not speak to me and wants absolutely nothing to do with me at all because my sister is and has been filling my mother's head with all kinds of lies and has her convinced that I am this awe full, evil, disloyal daughter that is trying to take everything from her, which is so far from the truth. I am so lost, heartbroken and I distraught over this, that I cry almost daily whenever I think about it and others keep telling me that I've lost my mother and I should just accept it and move on with my life and I just can't. I just can't. Any advice, because I feel very much lost and alone on this and it is destroying me, and my sister is just trying to destroy me almost daily and over my father's will which he has left me executor of the will. I am open to any help and/or suggestions as I don't really have the financial means to fight this battle ab either and my sister continues to alienate my mother from brothers and other family members as well, but not like what she is doing to me. And on top of it all, she (my sister) almost calls me several times a week harassing me with threats, sometimes even putting my mother on the phone to confirm her convictions. So, I am desperate for help, input, and advise from outside the realm of my family and friends and who are not bias to this subject. Thank You!
Your Mom is not competent to make any decisions or change any documents still in place. You are going to need a lawyer. Since there is contention in the family, I would let a lawyer be the Executor and take the Executor fee. That way there are no questioning you. You may need a lawyer for your charges. Its ur word against your sisters. I too would wonder why sister is alienating everyone. Not sure I would send APS in while you have charges filed against you. I would stay away and block your sister. Let her go to VM then you have proof of her threats. Hope ur other siblings will stand up for you in court.
I am caring for my mother MARY, who is 82 years old, living at home with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, depression, and diabetes.
My condolences on the loss of your father.
So your mom has dementia and that's why she's believing the apparent lies your sister is telling her, suddenly, out of the blue, after you've been driving back & forth since June, helping her all this time?? Now all of sudden you are the Bad Guy b/c your sister is feeding her stories?
And you've spent 3 days in jail over 'false charges' your sister filed against you, which sounds odd to me, that you'd be held in a cell for 3 days without a prior arrest record. Unless you do have a prior arrest record we're not hearing about?
It sounds to me like you need an attorney who can talk to you about your legal rights, what's going on with your sister and mother, and how to get out of the mess you're currently in. Your sister sounds like she's genuinely afraid of you, and for what reason I can't venture to guess. Why would she be going to THESE lengths to get you arrested and then be calling you with threats? It just doesn't make sense. Or enough sense that a forum of people could possibly begin to sift through the facts you have provided to give you advice.
Unless your father left you executor of a will which is worth a LOT of money, and your sister is wanting all of it, and that's why she's turned you into some kind of ogre. But again, speak to an attorney about all of this b/c you'll need that guidance to act as executor of a will when you're not allowed anywhere near the home or the people involved IN the will.
Wishing you the best of luck trying to figure your way out of this mess and have a relationship with your family again.
If your Mom is competent, and still so vulnerable that she believes anything an apparently evil person would tell her after your years of loving care to her I would suggest that there is absolutely nothing you can do now but move on.
If you feel that this wicked sister is a danger to your Mom I would inform APS and ask them to investigate for wellness checks on your Mom, that you attempted to check on her and are now facing charges in court for attempting to do so, and that you are worried for her safety.
To be frank I think that there is very little you can do here to change anything, and I say that knowing that there is apparently a lot we don't know about your Mom, your Sis, your other siblings.
We have two choices at family. The one we are born to and the one we create for ourselves.
I would tell other family members that you are bowing out now, and that you hope they will contact you if your Mom wishes to see you.