She has come into my room 3 times now. Either looking for my deceased father or saying she got a phone call from some woman that needs to go to the hospital. Last time she got fully dressed and came thru a dark house without her walker. I can take a lot but this might be the deal breaker. Do I have options?
I have a talking baby monitor meaning I can push a button and talk back to her. She honestly doesn't use it as much as she could have before. She used to remember I had the monitor and would talk to me in it expecting a reply. Now she just forgets I have it and cries for help then I go and help her. It sounds to me like a night terror or nightmare or hallucation that she is having a night. Perhaps your doctor can provide something that might relax her a bit at night.
The biggest concern is that she will start wandering. She could start leaving the house or other dangerous behaviors, like using the stove, etc.
If you can't get her to sleep better, you will need to be sure she is monitored at night....a paid caregiver, a family member that stays up with her, or placement in memory Care.
We kept mom home and took shifts. The doctor added meds but they only work only sometimes. We have a monitor. If mom was up, one of us was up with her. We have a recliner in her room. We take turns staying in her room; one half the night then swap. At this point, stage 7, mom is no longer able to get out of bed. She still is up much of the night a couple of times a week. I just go sleep on the recliner so she does not get scared alone. Only you can decide what you can handle.
Since sleep disorders are common with dementia, I'd talk to her doctor about it. There may be medications that can help her rest more throughout the night. I'd try to address this now, since, even if you place her in a long term care facility, night roaming will need to be addressed there too. A big problem is the senior getting up during the night and falling. It's happened to my LO more than several times. Proper meds and an alarm for the bed has helped reduce this a lot.
But consider your mother's safety, as well. "Last time she got fully dressed and came thru a dark house without her walker." There is a good chance that she could fall walking through a dark house without her walker.
Any other recent changes? New medication, other behaviours you've noticed? Just wondering if something could have unsettled her sleep pattern. Report what's happening to her doctor, and meanwhile set yourself a personal deadline for how long you can put up with this unless it's resolved. Do you have a facility you like the look of lined up?