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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Tell Mom if she does not assign a POA that the State will take over her care. Would she want the State to be involved with her life, or one of her kids. Same with not having a Will, State determines who inherits.
Nothing really that you can do unless she is in care. If she already has Alzheimer's, which is where you posted this, then you need to assure she is safe whatever her living circumstances are. If she is not it is time to enlist the help of APS.
It’s true you can’t force anything unless you feel she could be declared legally incompetent and want to pursue guardianship.
Remind her there can be a big gap between taking care of herself and death. Unless she wants to come home to her utilities turned off for nonpayment after an unexpected hospitalization she needs someone who can act on her behalf financially.
Unless she wants full, rib breaking CPR and to have her body filled with tubes and wires to keep her alive at any cost she needs someone who can speak for her medically.
These are her choices, and if she won’t allow help she’s stuck with them.
Call local elder care attorneys and hopefully find one that will talk to mom without her having to visit their office. Don’t tell her about it in advance but make it clear to her what the consequences are of dying with no legal plan in place. She’s not thinking clearly or is just locked into a ridiculous amount of stubbornness but either way she needs to be aware of what a mess she’s creating. I wish you the best getting cooperation
If she's unable to travel to see an attorney, you can perhaps find one willing to make a house call. The attorney will assess if she has cognitive legal capacity to assign a PoA. She would get to pick who is her PoA. Hopefully she'll make a wise choice. The attorney can explain to her what happens if she becomes so sick that she needs a PoA but doesn't have one designated. Also what happens when she dies "intestate" (without a Will). With 7 children it will be a poop show after she passes). I'm in the process of closing my Aunt's estate after she passed away last month. It's only me and she had no husband or children. She had all her legal ducks in a row and it is still a fair amount of work even though I'm using her attorney to walk me through things. At the end of the day you won't be able to coerce her into doing it if she resists. Her irrationality and lack of empathy for her family may mean she does actually have cognitive impairment. Hope it goes as well as it can. May you all receive peace in your hearts on this final journey with her.
I agree with you about having her meet with an attorney, at home or at the office. He can explain the legal ramifications of declining to make these plans. Especially about Living Will issues. With 7 siblings, if the mom is incapacitated and siblings disagree on what to do medically, it will certainly be a poop show.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If she already has Alzheimer's, which is where you posted this, then you need to assure she is safe whatever her living circumstances are.
If she is not it is time to enlist the help of APS.
Remind her there can be a big gap between taking care of herself and death. Unless she wants to come home to her utilities turned off for nonpayment after an unexpected hospitalization she needs someone who can act on her behalf financially.
Unless she wants full, rib breaking CPR and to have her body filled with tubes and wires to keep her alive at any cost she needs someone who can speak for her medically.
These are her choices, and if she won’t allow help she’s stuck with them.