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We know nothing about her finances. She told us she has money in the bank for her funeral. but know one is the account but her. What do we do?

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Tell Mom if she does not assign a POA that the State will take over her care. Would she want the State to be involved with her life, or one of her kids. Same with not having a Will, State determines who inherits.
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Nothing really that you can do unless she is in care.
If she already has Alzheimer's, which is where you posted this, then you need to assure she is safe whatever her living circumstances are.
If she is not it is time to enlist the help of APS.
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It’s true you can’t force anything unless you feel she could be declared legally incompetent and want to pursue guardianship.

Remind her there can be a big gap between taking care of herself and death. Unless she wants to come home to her utilities turned off for nonpayment after an unexpected hospitalization she needs someone who can act on her behalf financially.

Unless she wants full, rib breaking CPR and to have her body filled with tubes and wires to keep her alive at any cost she needs someone who can speak for her medically.

These are her choices, and if she won’t allow help she’s stuck with them.
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Call local elder care attorneys and hopefully find one that will talk to mom without her having to visit their office. Don’t tell her about it in advance but make it clear to her what the consequences are of dying with no legal plan in place. She’s not thinking clearly or is just locked into a ridiculous amount of stubbornness but either way she needs to be aware of what a mess she’s creating. I wish you the best getting cooperation
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If she's unable to travel to see an attorney, you can perhaps find one willing to make a house call. The attorney will assess if she has cognitive legal capacity to assign a PoA. She would get to pick who is her PoA. Hopefully she'll make a wise choice. The attorney can explain to her what happens if she becomes so sick that she needs a PoA but doesn't have one designated. Also what happens when she dies "intestate" (without a Will). With 7 children it will be a poop show after she passes). I'm in the process of closing my Aunt's estate after she passed away last month. It's only me and she had no husband or children. She had all her legal ducks in a row and it is still a fair amount of work even though I'm using her attorney to walk me through things. At the end of the day you won't be able to coerce her into doing it if she resists. Her irrationality and lack of empathy for her family may mean she does actually have cognitive impairment. Hope it goes as well as it can. May you all receive peace in your hearts on this final journey with her.
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JanPeck123 Mar 3, 2025
I agree with you about having her meet with an attorney, at home or at the office. He can explain the legal ramifications of declining to make these plans. Especially about Living Will issues. With 7 siblings, if the mom is incapacitated and siblings disagree on what to do medically, it will certainly be a poop show.
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